When talking about the mechanics of families and their
members it is often far more complicated than what we see and hear. We may see and hear what a person says or
understand what it is they intend to do, but the reasons behind their actions,
responses, decisions, or attitudes is a combination of so many things. It is unnecessary to go into detailed
descriptions of all that was or might have been for the character of this
story.
The story shows the situation, allowing the reader to
understand and get to know the characters.
John felt desperate to save his family from not only being homeless, but
from feeling he had lost them to their environment. He could see and hear the changes that were
so evident and dreaded the thought of what the future would bring to each in
their own way. Feeling protective and
instinct to provide provokes he even farther to find a solution to something
that seemed out of his control.
These feelings are things that may happen to many people in
all different circumstances. We may feel
that life has become out of our control and that we are rushing toward a future
that is uncertain at best and destructive or disastrous to all. We want to love and protect those that we
love. As options become more limited the
desperation increases.
With the loss of control in our lives we often fear the
changes that result. If we have no
control to direct the changes and have to simply survive, it leaves a
vulnerability that is complicated in emotional responses.
Becky and John had few options available and time had run
out to debate what they should do and where they should go. They both realized that the children would
object to leaving all that they had left in life that was familiar to go to a
new place with new people where they were sure they would not fit in. Becky had the same feelings. John view their prospects of being homeless
and at the mercy of the streets with all there was there or life moving to the
unknown. He felt apprehensions that were
even greater than how they would fit in, where and what it would be like where
they lived, how the children would react to the new life and new schools.
John felt the burden and responsibility of providing for his
family. He knew he would have to find a
job, a home, and a way to make it all work.
Becky had no desire to make changes that were so all
encompassing as to relocate to the country from the city life that she knew and
understood… from where they were to moving down south… living with in-laws she
did not even know and had never felt a bond or even acceptance from… with
children she knew would absolutely refuse to go.
She had always tried to talk to and reason with, and even
negotiate issues concerning the children with them instead of telling them or
making rules. She knew there would be no
negotiating if they wanted to go or would agree to go to live in rural Arkansas. She dreaded their reactions and the actions
they might take to avoid being forced to do something they did not want to do.
The eldest daughter thought she was in love. She was positive this was the soul mate of
her life and that they had all of the answers.
He loved her and she loved him and that was what was important to
her. She would refuse and possibly even
want to run away and live with him and his mother. From the little that Becky knew about them
she hated the idea her daughter was involved with the young man at all and
found the mother to be no help or asset in the situation. Becky felt totally helpless to find a way to
deal with what she knew was soon going to happen. They had no other choices. She had been working as hard as she could and
they were steadily going down instead of up in life.
John announced the temporary solution to the concerns about
the children having adverse reactions by not telling them until there was no
choice. He was not considering asking
their opinions. Their opinions were not
realistic in the adult world where being homeless or in a crisis situation was
real. Living with your friends or
boyfriend might seem like an option to them but he was not going to discuss any
of what was soon to happen. He had
decided the time had come to be the parent.
They had plenty of friends but where were the friends when you really
needed them? It would be up to them to
find a way for the family to survive or suffer the consequences.
Bobby had been so lost when they first left the home that he
knew and loved where he had friends and a school filled with happy days and
optimism to go to an area filled with threats, intimidations and people he did
not understand but feared. Every moment
at school was filled with apprehension, fear, isolation and even abuse and
taunts from others. There was no friend
to turn to or smiling face to console his misery. The hallways were filled with the crowded
throngs or masses of students as they went from class to class or pushed and
shoved to get a better view of some fight here or there.
For Bobby to find a way in the transition after the loss of
their home he turned to the first friendly and safe sounding option. He thought it was like a blessing when he met
a new friend as he sat on the steps outside their apartment one day. He considered himself lucky to find a person
even though he was so much older who accepted him as an equal and offered not
only friendship but protections and opportunities. If Bobby was one of them, he could make a lot
of money doing simple little things like delivering a package here or there or
maybe just holding on to it until someone else came for it. There might be other things too, allowing him
to make even more money. The other
people who had picked on him would have to quit because he was not alone
anymore. He had his… friends. His
friends understood how hard things were and they were there for him. His friends were becoming like family to
him. Day by day he became more alienated
to family and oriented to the gang ways of life.
The youngest child loved them all but would eventually adapt
and follow in the foot steps of her elder siblings.
The decision to refrain from explaining plans in advance
allowing the children time to make other plans seemed a reasonable plan. Plans do not always work as we thought but
these parents were swept up in circumstances that required they find a way to
control and direct the path of their lives.
Becky had voiced her apprehension about the move and living with
and actually being dependent on… even if it was temporarily,… family of his
they did not really know. As he
explained to her the history of the people there and those that had passed
before them she felt no relief. She felt
even more the distance between them and those they might soon be at the mercy
of for even shelter.
When the children grew suspicious that there were things
going on they need to know about John had to find a way to control the
conversation to tell only what he wanted told and yet he did not want to lie to
the children. The situation was
difficult enough, but working with the people in the family to keep them united
as a family in heart as well as physical location was going to be a difficult
task.
During this part of the story we can discover more than what
is described about the characters. We
begin to know them as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. All of those things contribute to the story
in the story. The people in the
situation and the inner being behind the words begin to grow.
For John and Becky the thought of homeless with three
children was no option. The idea of
leaving all they knew and found familiar to start their lives over was
intimidating. There was no time for
tears if they were to succeed and survive as a family. They had seen so many families with children
running away or the stress and strain being too much and resulting in divorce
of the parents.
Life would go on, but what kind of life that would be was a
question they had no answers or means to foretell.
Part of what kind of life they would have to experience or
survive was dependent on the man that made the offer of shelter and a new start
for them all.
We may think that we know someone or know a lot about them
but we will never fully know the heart of another. They knew many things about this Uncle James
that offered to help but they did not really know him at all.
Everything we learn and live in life is reflected in the way
we perceive or react to things in life.
It may help us to better understand things and people or be part of what
leads us to misunderstandings. Uncle
James had lived a lot in the years of his life.
Accepting a whole family with children who did not know him, and he assumed
would not want to come, into his home and life was going to be a challenge. Uncle James might present a challenge at
times to some of the family but if they were going to build a better life they
would have to find a way to meet new challenges and succeed.
The time was soon to be when there would be no turning
back. What ever choices and decisions
they made would affect their whole future as individuals and as a family.
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