Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I AM STILL TRYING...BUT THINGS ARE DIFFICULT

I really hate to say this, or think this, but I am not too spunky.  I keep saying I will get spunky real soon, but it is not happening.  I had said I was going to be honest through all of this and hope it helps someone along the way to never give up.... I am not giving up, but we do not know what happened to me or what is wrong.  I would like to think I am just crazy but I have always been a little crazy (it is what gives me character) and that is not it.  I am weak enough it is hard to get from one room to the next and I begin to feel so shaky I can hardly stand up.  I have slept most of this week and become so tired I will be unable to stay sitting up after a couple of hours.  What ever happened last Thur that sent me to the hospital, was more than the high blood pressure.  They are scheduling CT scans to try to find out what and why this is happening.  I am not confused but tend to just go blank.  A dozen ideas flood through my mind of the things I want and plan to do....and then I am so tired it all just shuts down.

 I will find a way to make it to the writers meeting on Oct 2 no matter what if they have to wheel me in.  Surely I can sit and talk for that long. What I have not been able to do is respond.  I wrote this in different sittings.  I thought the mass under the aorta was enough to do me in but I am still here.  The head on collision was a nightmare.  When they said cancer and have to take out the whole upper lobe of the lung we did not know if there would be a tomorrow.  That was two years ago come Nov 16.  I do not give up easily and will not give up now, but sure am moving slow.

So many people comment and like and keep in touch with me and it means so much.  Often by the time I read them I have to lay back down and do not respond.  I want everyone to know that every one means a lot to me.  This is my connection right now to the world.  On Twitter so many have RTed for me and new followers and I have not been able to respond.  I want everyone to know that all they do means more to me than a simple click here or there.  I do not feel so alone.  I thank you and I will be in and out as much as I can.  I just wanted everyone to know that when I say I am tired it is not that I don't care to reply... I really am hanging in there and doing the best that I can.  I am not giving up on getting the new novel out but as you can guess things are slower than I ever dreamed until I can be back up and around.  I thank you all and will be back soon.

 One last thought before I go...  Pleases don't miss the coloring pages from my Children's book you can copy for free.  Kids love to make books and decorations. https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.274729592552061.72368.162224753802546&type=3


16 comments:

  1. Dear Linda,
    Hang in there! You have all my prayers (you always have). Keep praying for yourself & for God to guide the doctors in the right direction to find out what's wrong. Keep thinking positive too. Well, I realize that we're FB friends & we've never met in person, but from what I know about you, you will! ((((((HUGS)))))))

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having these problems, but hang in there. You can get through this. Take care of yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Linda, I am so sorry you have this undiagnosed weakness problem. Hang in there, mate. Doctors today have so many resources they can use to discover and fix illnesses. I am SURE they will be able to sort out what ails you. Hugs while you wait for answers, dear lady.

    Margot Finke
    BOOKS for KIDS - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. (((((Linda!))))) Get well! Do what ever you have to do to get well. Everything else is secondary. If you can't make the conference this year, there's next year. But get well!

    ReplyDelete
  5. linda,
    there's little to nothing i can do accept send my prayers so you can get well soon. think of nothing but getting better... we will all be here when you come back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are an inspiration, Linda. Hang in there. Sending all positive thoughts your way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Not spunky" ,,, very good way to put it, and thank you for risking the share.
    You are not alone … and to write so well of your process, your journey thru this - pretty commendable !! Keep throwing it out there, keep coloring outside the lines …xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad, Linda. I'll put you in my prayers. Has anyone checked for Lyme disease? Just a thought.
    Blessings,
    Gail Pallotta

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Linda, thanks for letting us know. I hope they figure out the cause and you will get some healing, Rachelle

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hope things start looking up real soon. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Linda, I was heartbroken reading your blog and please accept my apology for not responding sooner. I can only imagine what you are going through. The most important thing is not to worry or think about what has to be done. You must save your strength, so you can get better. All your family and friends are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers, including me. Do what you must, keep the faith and may our Lord Bless you with His healing powers. Concetta

    ReplyDelete
  12. I knew you were not well, but thanks for sharing what is happening. I'll keep you in my prayers and double prayers for your family. Hang tight and keep trying.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hope you are better soon, Linda. Miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Take care Linda and know you're prayed for and blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Take care and gets lots of rest. Blessings. You are in my thoughts. I'll download the coloring pages for my 3 year old. She'll love it. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete