The Journey of Journey Home…How long did it take? How far did it go?

The Journey of Journey Home…How long did it take?  How far did it go?
PART 1

Journey Home had been special to me but it grew into something real.  It was no longer a short story written just to see if I could competently do the things I had explained to my daughter.  It had become a story with depth and characters that were becoming people.  They had pasts and present and futures if only I could figure it out and find a way to tell it. 

I believe in trying to be realistic even if I do at times tend to believe in hope and good things in life.  That way of thinking can open a person to experience let down, disappointment, hurt and betrayal but it can also open doors to show that the only limitations we have are those we impose on ourselves.  It can allow us to discover good people who really do care and those that are there for us when we need them the most.  It also allows us to continue to try and grow in our own lives.

I want to learn.  I want to try.  I do not want to give up.  As I wrote the story I often rewrote it and it began to take shape.  I got online to have access to the internet and found a chat room for writers and read as well as researched as much as I could.  I hardly know or knew how to even use a computer but I could read what others shared.  One writer in particular took the time to discuss some things and was very encouraging.  He took the time to talk to a stranger who wanted to write a book.  The odds were against me ever completing a full length novel let alone being able to create something that might be of interest to others or professional enough to enable the reader to even tolerate reading what I wrote.  I did not want to give up.  I believed in my story and that if I did not give up and tried my best, it would someday be a book. 

Someday…..  I had a dream in between cooking, cleaning, laundry, family, friends, and life in general.  I have said many times if you asked who and what I am I really do not know.  I have always been what is and was needed.  In a lot of ways that is what I will always be but I want to be more and learn more and do more.

I was so excited and often typed late into the night or even the early morning hours.  I knew that I would probably write and rewrite many times and need to learn all that I could learn to make this what I wanted it to be.    I did not want to just write a novel or make it a book.  I wanted it to be the very best that I could do.  I wanted it to be special…so special that is was proof that there is no limit to what we can do if we are willing to work hard and never give up.  I wanted my family and children to be proud of me.

Life does not always go according to plan.  I think it rarely goes exactly as we plan and we may not always know the reasons or understand why things happen or how we will ever manage to endure let alone go on.

When people as me how long it took me to write the book….I have no exact answer.  It took me a lifetime and yet my life is not over and it is a book.  I thought my life was over at one point.  That has actually happened to me on more than one occasion for more than one reason but those are different stories for another day.

The day I have in mind happened long ago but is still in my mind so vividly that there have been times I could see and hear it all over again.  WOW…This is not going to be easy to find words. 

I think I will try to tell it as a story would be told.  The day was so beautiful.  The sun was shining and we had the BBQ grill fired up out back.  Family was there visiting and the kids were laughing and talking.  It was a beautiful day.  What could go wrong?  Things were even progressing so well with writing the book that I could hardly wait for the times I had to work on it.  The family was supportive and encouraging me.  They believed in me more than I did.

We needed some things at the store and my daughter offered to drive me.  We approached a major highway with 4 lanes of traffic traveling highway speed.  When she stepped on the brake the car did not stop.  She turned to avoid going into traffic on the highway but it was too late and put us head on with a full size van that had no way to stop.

My daughter hit the steering wheel so hard that her teeth cut completely through her bottom lip.  Her entire rib cage was bruised and she would hurt almost everywhere that she could hurt.  It shows how lucky we really are how much we should realize that the good Lord does look after us because if you could see and really know what was involved in this crash and what could have been it sends chills through me as I sit here and type.  If you want to talk about pain….she had pain that no pill or shot could cure.  The emotional pain breaks my heart.  She was driving and it was an accident but she felt responsible.  She was trapped in the car with me.  There are no words to tell what it had to have been like for her.  She is a kind and caring person who was hurt, hurting, scared and in shock.

I did not have on a seat belt.  The impact was so intense that the car motor was pushed back and pinned my left foot to the floor of the car.  As the car flew out of control it must have spun and twisted every way.  The first time my head hit the windshield, it broke into millions of little squares of broken glass.  There was actually a concave impression bulged out of my face in part of it.  You could see by the glass, that I hit really hard at least 3 or 4 times.  Each time I hit my face was raked across the broken glass and gashed and shredded.  The car motor pinning my foot held me from going out onto the hood or roadway but had a whiplash action and I was the whip. 

I hit the dash so hard that it broke the dashboard of the car…with my ribs and chest….I was broken too.  My hands were crushed.  My forearms were crushed.  My hand had been cut so deeply that it appeared almost bisected on the right side and the left was very deep.   The foot that had been pinned to the floor of the car of course was very broken.  Blood was everywhere.  We were trapped inside and bleeding.

I have to stop now at this point.  I have said that I was going to try to tell many things and do it as honestly as possible, but right now it is not that I am having problems remembering….I can feel it.  I can see it.  This part may sound silly or overly emotional but I sit here with tears in my eyes.

I want to take a moment to describe some other things.  When there is an accident such as this one especially on the highway I have heard many times about all of the onlookers.  I have even heard of how there will often be so many people there and no one lifting a finger to help or they just drive on by.

That was not the case.  From all that I have heard there were many who stopped but people were anxious to help anyway that they could.  There are some times there is nothing that you can do but this was amazing.  When you say that people would give you the shirt off of their backs that was more than a phrase.

I was trapped in the car and two women who were dressed and on their way to work crawled inside of the car with me.  They worked to protect my neck and keep an airway open.  They worked to try to keep me alert and help me to live.  There was so much blood.  Most of my face had been shredded beyond the appearance of any human.  From the center of the forehead was a gash that went to the skull.  My right cheek was deeply cut through.  Nose, eyes, and almost every surface of the face was cut, sliced, gashed and gouged.  My hands were deeply cut and gushing.

They desperately tried to slow the bleeding as I faded in and out, trapped in what could have been thought of as a twisted metal coffin.  One of the bystanders actually stripped of the very shirt that he was wearing when he dressed to go where ever it was he was traveling and gave it to them to use. 

I can not imagine all of the emotions, fears and thoughts my daughter suffered as she was also trapped with me seeing such a sight and knowing it had been her mother only moments before.  What was left of me was no longer recognizable…..

The two women that to this day I do not know or have ever met….stayed with me, worked with me, helped me and did all that they could do to help me live.  I wish I could meet them.  I wish I did know who they were.  They did so much more than they will ever know in their care, actions, and concerns.  All of the people who cared and tried to help did help just by their attitudes as well as their actions.  They cared and they tried. 

One man offered his cell phone to my daughter when they got her out of the car so that she could call anyone she needed to call.  911 had already been called.  She was covered in blood that would get on his phone but he did not hesitate.  She called my husband..her dad with news he was not prepared for.  We were not at the store asking what else he might need for the cook out.  We were in a nightmare.

I will be back as soon as I can.  This may be a bit more difficult than I thought to actually share.  When I talk about my books I have explained that they are a part of me.  I set up a facebook fan page and did not title it author or books ….I just said the Linda Nance Fan Page.  It may be unprofessional to put all different things on it.  You will find a little of this and a little of that.  You may find pictures I posted of play doh flowers that I sculpted or paintings that I painted or many other things.  These things are all a part of me.  I want to put a part of me in all that I do.  It is not a fan page to sell books.  It is my voice and my way to reach out to others.  It is just a part of me.  That is what I intend to try to share with all of this that I write and the books that I have worked so hard to create. 

Each and every book is more than the story between the covers.  The story is something that I am proud of and hope will be special.  The real story is to never give up.  The cover is more than something to catch the eye and sell the book.   I hope that every book is special and every time someone gazes at it or holds it in their hands that I can share something special I created from front to back and all that is in between. 

I will be back soon.