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Monday, April 23, 2012

Life Goes On Changing Times Part 3

As we continue to look at the characters of Life Goes On, We can feel the fear, confusion and apprehension as the time to make the changes there seemed to have no way to avoid, approached.  Every parent wants that warm bond and connection with their children but John and Becky were soon to realize that they could not be both friend and parent.  They would need to be a family and work together to stay strong and survive.  They felt they had lost their children little at a time and the family was something to dream about and think of in another life.  The life they had left of security with employment and prosperity seemed more of a dream than a memory as they watched their children drifting farther and farther away. 

They instinctively knew there would be no way to talk and convince the children that to move away from all they knew was a good thing.  They feared they would refuse to go and possibly run away to avoid compliance with the plan.  The language and actions of the two oldest children had become so brash and offensive at times they felt as if they did not know these two young people at all.

Children can overhear and notice even small things forming an understanding that there is something going on or secrets they feel they just have to unveil.  Each child may have gone their own way with their own friends but when it came to uncovering the information about the family they would work together.

Explaining they would have to move from the apartment after being evicted was unavoidable.  The children realized it was something that would be and even related it to some things they had found stored in the basement assuming it had happened to others and they lost the things they had left there.  They did not want the same thing to happen to them and began to pack.

When the morning came and they did not go to school but were informed they were going to move the confrontation was immediate.  It was a time the parents would have to find a way to hold their ground and do what they thought best for their children and family or risk loosing them forever.

As the story goes on we meet and get to know others that will become important to the individuals and family as a whole.  There would be times and things arise that were unexpected and a time of learning more than what can be taught in books.  There are some things you learn from the heart and that is where they are written.  One certainty they were to learn was the fact that no matter what happens … Life Goes On……

Meeting the old uncle and his friends who come to the aid of the family would be a shock.  None of the children knew him and were unable to find a way around his no nonsense approach to life.  The offensive attitudes and rude actions were not only wasted on him but not tolerated.  There were definitely many things they would be learned but at what cost as the anger and refusal to cooperate increases?

Sharing the moments and growing mountain of obstacles to this family builds as the time nears and arrives to go.  Ready or not they will be leaving and what life the go to is uncertain and unknown to any of them.

Many families suffer problems of different kinds.  We have to find our way in life with those we love.  We have to find a way as Life Goes On for each of us.  I believe that each day is special and we have the chance to do something special or new.  This story is filled with problems and people that are each different.  Different ways of thinking, objectives, hopes, and dreams result in a variety of reactions to any situation.  Differences in the things we fear or dread influence how we respond or the action we might choose to take.  We have a variety of individuals who need to find a way through the difficult times and confusion of life to come together as a family or loose so much they might have had but may never know.

Life Goes On   ebooks US
                        paperback Canada 

I hope you stop by and read the reviews and share your thoughts.  I hope your adventures in life bring hope and light and a close and loving feeling with those in you life.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Life Goes On…Inside the Characters…Part 2

When talking about the mechanics of families and their members it is often far more complicated than what we see and hear.  We may see and hear what a person says or understand what it is they intend to do, but the reasons behind their actions, responses, decisions, or attitudes is a combination of so many things.  It is unnecessary to go into detailed descriptions of all that was or might have been for the character of this story.

The story shows the situation, allowing the reader to understand and get to know the characters.  John felt desperate to save his family from not only being homeless, but from feeling he had lost them to their environment.   He could see and hear the changes that were so evident and dreaded the thought of what the future would bring to each in their own way.  Feeling protective and instinct to provide provokes he even farther to find a solution to something that seemed out of his control.

These feelings are things that may happen to many people in all different circumstances.  We may feel that life has become out of our control and that we are rushing toward a future that is uncertain at best and destructive or disastrous to all.   We want to love and protect those that we love.  As options become more limited the desperation increases. 

With the loss of control in our lives we often fear the changes that result.  If we have no control to direct the changes and have to simply survive, it leaves a vulnerability that is complicated in emotional responses. 

Becky and John had few options available and time had run out to debate what they should do and where they should go.  They both realized that the children would object to leaving all that they had left in life that was familiar to go to a new place with new people where they were sure they would not fit in.   Becky had the same feelings.  John view their prospects of being homeless and at the mercy of the streets with all there was there or life moving to the unknown.  He felt apprehensions that were even greater than how they would fit in, where and what it would be like where they lived, how the children would react to the new life and new schools. 

John felt the burden and responsibility of providing for his family.  He knew he would have to find a job, a home, and a way to make it all work.

Becky had no desire to make changes that were so all encompassing as to relocate to the country from the city life that she knew and understood… from where they were to moving down south… living with in-laws she did not even know and had never felt a bond or even acceptance from… with children she knew would absolutely refuse to go.

She had always tried to talk to and reason with, and even negotiate issues concerning the children with them instead of telling them or making rules.  She knew there would be no negotiating if they wanted to go or would agree to go to live in rural Arkansas.  She dreaded their reactions and the actions they might take to avoid being forced to do something they did not want to do.

The eldest daughter thought she was in love.  She was positive this was the soul mate of her life and that they had all of the answers.  He loved her and she loved him and that was what was important to her.  She would refuse and possibly even want to run away and live with him and his mother.  From the little that Becky knew about them she hated the idea her daughter was involved with the young man at all and found the mother to be no help or asset in the situation.  Becky felt totally helpless to find a way to deal with what she knew was soon going to happen.  They had no other choices.  She had been working as hard as she could and they were steadily going down instead of up in life.

John announced the temporary solution to the concerns about the children having adverse reactions by not telling them until there was no choice.  He was not considering asking their opinions.  Their opinions were not realistic in the adult world where being homeless or in a crisis situation was real.  Living with your friends or boyfriend might seem like an option to them but he was not going to discuss any of what was soon to happen.  He had decided the time had come to be the parent.  They had plenty of friends but where were the friends when you really needed them?  It would be up to them to find a way for the family to survive or suffer the consequences.

Bobby had been so lost when they first left the home that he knew and loved where he had friends and a school filled with happy days and optimism to go to an area filled with threats, intimidations and people he did not understand but feared.  Every moment at school was filled with apprehension, fear, isolation and even abuse and taunts from others.  There was no friend to turn to or smiling face to console his misery.  The hallways were filled with the crowded throngs or masses of students as they went from class to class or pushed and shoved to get a better view of some fight here or there. 

For Bobby to find a way in the transition after the loss of their home he turned to the first friendly and safe sounding option.  He thought it was like a blessing when he met a new friend as he sat on the steps outside their apartment one day.  He considered himself lucky to find a person even though he was so much older who accepted him as an equal and offered not only friendship but protections and opportunities.  If Bobby was one of them, he could make a lot of money doing simple little things like delivering a package here or there or maybe just holding on to it until someone else came for it.  There might be other things too, allowing him to make even more money.  The other people who had picked on him would have to quit because he was not alone anymore.  He had his… friends.   His friends understood how hard things were and they were there for him.  His friends were becoming like family to him.  Day by day he became more alienated to family and oriented to the gang ways of life. 

The youngest child loved them all but would eventually adapt and follow in the foot steps of her elder siblings.

The decision to refrain from explaining plans in advance allowing the children time to make other plans seemed a reasonable plan.  Plans do not always work as we thought but these parents were swept up in circumstances that required they find a way to control and direct the path of their lives.

Becky had voiced her apprehension about the move and living with and actually being dependent on… even if it was temporarily,… family of his they did not really know.  As he explained to her the history of the people there and those that had passed before them she felt no relief.  She felt even more the distance between them and those they might soon be at the mercy of for even shelter.

When the children grew suspicious that there were things going on they need to know about John had to find a way to control the conversation to tell only what he wanted told and yet he did not want to lie to the children.  The situation was difficult enough, but working with the people in the family to keep them united as a family in heart as well as physical location was going to be a difficult task.

During this part of the story we can discover more than what is described about the characters.  We begin to know them as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.  All of those things contribute to the story in the story.  The people in the situation and the inner being behind the words begin to grow.

For John and Becky the thought of homeless with three children was no option.  The idea of leaving all they knew and found familiar to start their lives over was intimidating.  There was no time for tears if they were to succeed and survive as a family.  They had seen so many families with children running away or the stress and strain being too much and resulting in divorce of the parents. 

Life would go on, but what kind of life that would be was a question they had no answers or means to foretell. 

Part of what kind of life they would have to experience or survive was dependent on the man that made the offer of shelter and a new start for them all. 

We may think that we know someone or know a lot about them but we will never fully know the heart of another.  They knew many things about this Uncle James that offered to help but they did not really know him at all. 

Everything we learn and live in life is reflected in the way we perceive or react to things in life.  It may help us to better understand things and people or be part of what leads us to misunderstandings.  Uncle James had lived a lot in the years of his life.  Accepting a whole family with children who did not know him, and he assumed would not want to come, into his home and life was going to be a challenge.  Uncle James might present a challenge at times to some of the family but if they were going to build a better life they would have to find a way to meet new challenges and succeed.

The time was soon to be when there would be no turning back.  What ever choices and decisions they made would affect their whole future as individuals and as a family.

Life Goes On   ebooks US
                        paperback Canada  

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Writer’s Group…Each one is special…. Donna Watkins writes….and she has only just begun….

Kidz Gone to Potz   What is this?????

I wanted to take the time and offer another special blog.  I have told some time back about the writers group here.  I wanted it to be people who help one another.  I can not wait any longer before I start sharing some of the exciting news of those who feel this bond and have been working to do special things and create each in their own ways.  

We had so much fun...but we always have a good time with good friends.  We met some wonderful people this day.

Every one of these people near and far have helped me so much.  I say near and far because there are those that live many miles away but their hearts are right here and we are right there…..this writer’s group is people helping people.  I would like to write about all of them and all of their projects but have to do it a little at a time.  This time I want to ….have to share about this children’s book.  I think it is so much more than one might assume…until they read and try it and see the results.

I have always loved a garden and to see the seedlings sprouting, then growing, blooming and to taste a fresh tomato or cucumber I helped grow.  I remember my father handing me a strawberry freshly picked and sweet with a drop of dew on it.  There are so many memories.  I remember hearing things in school or science class and remembering I saw that…I did that.  I had learned that and never even realized that a father in his garden was sharing lessons learned and to learn… but also life….and so many memories.

I saw this and there is so much more to this book than a science lesson or instructions for things to do.  This book is the door to open the mind, imaginations and so much more.  This is a way to make memories and gardens.  I love the idea of finding things we can do with the children that can share with another generation more than a plant in a pot.  I do understand it is a high tech world and my little grandson often teaches me things I never knew on the computer…He is 7 now.  These are things in this book that we can do together and the thrill of watching and working with it as time passes and it becomes real is something that shines in his eyes.  This little book makes such a wonderful gift in giving and using.  What is it….it is so much more than words.

Kids are no different than adults when it comes to finding joy in watching things grow.  A child can see such wonder in the mysterious magic of life in all things, especially a little seed or plant they had a hand in growing.   Gardening with your child, however small the project, teaches them skills that will last a lifetime, as well as provides outdoor entertainment for the whole family to enjoy.   It offers an opportunity to not only learn and do something special together but also to enjoy the bounty the project grew and share it together.

Kidz Gone to Potz is mostly about Container Gardening, as the title implies, however, it also covers Raised Bed Gardening, and Conventional Yard Gardening as well. This book is full of learning opportunities presented in fun ways to capture a child's interest.

Kids learn about horticulture, ecology, weather patterns, moon phases, pollination, natural pest control, companion plants, as well as experiencing education opportunities in the areas of Math, Science, Literacy, Health, Social Studies, History, and, Environmental Stewardship.  This is an opportunity to learn and teach in doing and having fun.  We learn twice as much when seeing and doing and experiencing the event as we do by just hearing or reading about it.  This is the chance to make not only a garden even if it is one plant … but also to plant the seeds for the memories that carry on from one generation to another. 

Worm Farming and Funny Food Faces round out this whimsical guide to outdoor fun. Fun easy recipes are included for the foods that have been grown. From The Grow Pot to The Cook Pot - this book has it all! What a great idea!  I love this book not only for the wonderful way it is presented and the fun and knowledge it offers but for the opportunity to share it with my grandchildren and they with theirs. 

In such a fast paced world it is unique when we find ways to capture the interest and take the time to see a little flower bloom or a plant as it reaches up to the sunshine and bursts forth with new green leaves after a spring rain.  The bite of a ripe piece of fruit or vegetable that started with a little plant or seed is a wonder and a pleasure.

The presentation and content in this book is outstanding and I believe it is something that can be so much more than just a book…

I want to take the time to tell how much it means to me and recommend it as something special to have, use, share or give to others.  The interest in all who have read it was immediate and the time is now.


Donna is one of  a kind and it is the very best and friend and more.

Life Goes On… From The Inside…. The Characters within… Part 1

I could try to describe how I went about creating the characters in the story.  I could tell you how I worked to make them more realistic or believable, but I would rather just visit a bit and hope you get to know them.  When I write a story I have explained that I want the story to be so real you feel as if you can see, hear, and experience what is there in the story and know the people there.

John and Becky….  are first introduced in the story discussing their problems and fears.  He was layed off from his job and his unemployment resulted in them having to leave their home to reside where ever they could afford to rent for them and their children.

Unless we have actually lived through times that did more than challenge us financially but also posed a threat, we may not relate to the dire circumstances the family faced and was about to have to find a way to survive. 

As Becky and John talk it becomes evident that their circumstances had forced her to work in less than desirable and at times even dangerous environments.  As John gazes out the window and reflects back to what he knew about the area where they live it is clear that they grieve for the safe and optimistic life they had before the financial ruination they suffered when the company he worked for closed.

Life is filled with many things including challenges and problems we work to find solutions for.  We may even think the problems are so big until we find ourselves faced with some that are by comparison insurmountable.  John realized the life they had been forced into not only took away their hopes and dreams they took for granted but was a threat to all he held dear…his family. 

Life is also filled with changes.  Some changes bring pain and hardships.  Some changes are filled with excitement and joy.  Some things actually threaten destruction.   We somehow find ways to meet these changes.  Not all of our decisions or actions are the right choices but there are always consequences.  We often find ways to adapt, blend in, get around, avoid, or conquer in situations we face.

As John gazes out the window and compares what the area had been to what was before him, he also realizes what it is doing to his family.  He knows in his heart that to survive, the children will naturally find ways to fit in or be accepted.  In those circumstances there would be not bright and hopeful futures. 

John saw little hope to be found in the streets he saw below him but many pitfalls that were already claiming and stealing away the children he loved.  He could hardly believe they were the same people who had lived in security and comfort in a nice home, safe neighbor hood, wonderful schools and little worries compared to the life they had and would have staying in the place fate had forced them.

John had tried to be there for his family.  He had not only provided financially for them but tried to be a part of their hearts and lives.  He thought he knew them, but there were times the children were like strangers he had never met.  There were times the man he saw in the mirror looked so lost and defeated he knew him not.  John realized what a shock all of this was to each of them in their own ways.

He had gone from going to little league baseball games with his son to see the games to watching out a window and wondering where the boy was, with whom, and if he would make it home?  It was a different world. 

He wanted to lead and teach his children how to be responsible but now he could not even have the boy safely take out the trash.  When a dead body was found in the dumpster in the alley where they took their trash, John trembled at the thought of what might have happened if his son Bobby had been there taking out the trash.  The wrong place at the wrong time … is a phrase you could hear often, … but it will not bring you back from the dead. 

He wanted them to learn to get along with others but there were places where it was unsafe unless you belonged to one of the gangs and to do that and to belong was a life changing event….

Bobby had already changed so much that John felt he did not even know the boy.  His oldest daughter was caught up in a world he had no way to begin to know.  He felt shut out and lost from his children.  His youngest was learning and would soon imitate not only the two eldest but also others that would become important in her life.

Becky worked long hard hours in a place filled with all kinds of things and most of them he would never want her to have to deal with, let alone handle and be in the middle of.  She was trying with all of her heart and soul to help her family survive but lived each day with fear and resentment and no direction to place blame for their situation.  She had heard words like the economy and job security and many other topic so often discussed by people who thought they knew what they were talking about.  She had heard conversations and even been a part of those and more.  She had been part of the different charity drives to raise funds and awareness to social problems such a drugs, homelessness, gangs, hunger in the world, and people in need….

She realized a different perspective from the one she once had.  She realized no matter how much a person might talk or even think about some situations they never fully understood them until they had to live it themselves.   You could talk about being homeless or loss of your home but until it was you that faced that possibility you never really understood and felt what more there was to the issue.  How could you really know what it was like to be so hungry and see empty shelves when you open the cabinet if you were not homeless and had a cabinet to open?

She remembered a lunch she had attended for a local food pantry to help with contributions.  People had gathered at the expensive restaurant chatting about many things.  One woman proudly announced that although she did believe in the cause she thought many times it was abused as people that had jobs just did not manage their money and wasted it.  Food should be their first priority and if they did not do that she had no sympathy.

Becky was working full time and then some.  John had used his unemployment until it ran out but what priority was most important when there was not enough to cover them all?  She pondered now how anyone could say such a thing if they were faced with the rent, utilities and other things that stood between them and being homeless?  She felt so enlightened to understanding of things she had never dreamed and so hopeless and helpless at the same time.  Now it was she and her family they would have avoided standing too close to, but did not mind making a deductible contribution to help and then discuss how worthless some were over their coffee or dinners.  Becky was afraid and angry and desperate.

Becky had always thought they needed to be there for their children too.  She believed she was not only their mother but their best friend.  They would always be able to share everything.  She often would talk and discuss things allowing the children to have their say and help in making decisions.  Becky felt that was a good thing in their relationship…before….  She had begun to feel as if she did not even know them and they looked at her as the enemy or at least something to get around so they could run away into their new life and do what ever they wanted to do.  She was afraid of who and what they were with and had no way to know because there was no sharing with their best friend…or their mother.  She had begun to feel as if she had lost them completely.
Who and what these people were and what was to come of them were questions no one had answers for.  What and where they would go or how they would get there were soon to be more than just something to discuss.  They would soon be in a position to experience even more difficulties and the choices they made, would change their lives forever.

I wanted to write a story.  I wanted it to be filled with people, places and things of interest.  This story has so much more when we think about these people and their story.  It could be our story if life took certain turns.  There may be things we know and believe to be true but then again in other circumstances … what then????  How heartbreaking would it be to feel as if we are loosing those we love the most and what would we do?

What about the children?  If the things they had always heard from their parents was so true, then why were they where they were living as they were?  If good people they had known all of their lives were so special, where were they when you needed help?  They did not understand life but were finding new friends they could be accepted and become a part with.  They were finding new friends that had all kinds of things to tell and teach and so many so called answers.  Children do have a survival instinct but what was it and who, that was trying to save them…or was it more to recruit them to their world for what they wanted from them?

The children were not prepared for any of what was now all around them and they were a part of in the neighborhood and the schools.  We all have choices to make and consequences for good or for bad from those choices.

No matter what Life Goes On and we have to find a way to go on in life and make the best of what we have to do the best that we can do.

I will be back soon to share more from the inside…

Life Goes On   ebooks US
                        paperback Canada 

Friday, April 13, 2012

Confessions of an Author

This is the original photo I used to make the book cover.

More than just a story in a book?....   That is what I called this blog and that is what it is.  It is what I would like to make it.  I want to be able to have a voice and share many things….here it is.

I am not always right in the things I may think or believe, but I try my best in life.  When it comes to life it is not always easy.  We may find times we never dreamed we would see, let alone have to live through and survive.  There may be times that worry our minds and test our souls.  There may be times we might never forget even if we want to, or times we might never forget because we need to remember to never repeat that part again.

There came a time in my life when I viewed my survival as doubtful.  I was not sure that I would live.  I have written and spoke much about this, but that is because it is so intensely imbedded in my being.  I have always loved to write and hoped and dreamed to one day be published.  I even went to college and took an advanced fictional writing course to help me improve and make what I had written better.  I wrote.  I wrote a novel and it thrilled me beyond words.  It was watching part of a dream come true.  I had written short stories and poetry almost as one would write a journal.  This was different.  This was a full length novel that I felt was a story to be enjoyed and could take the reader there with them.  It was long enough to make two books. 

After I took the class I was able to view what I had written in a different way.  I could see things that did not need to be there…and others that needed to be rephrased.  I could see many more things and totally rewrote the book.  I started at the first word of the first sentence and did my best.  I would love to have things professionally done.  It is impossible for me to edit my own writing as professionally as another could do.

One thing is repetitive phrases or words.  If we have a certain speech pattern it will not be obvious to us if it is overused.  Details are difficult to critique since I wrote it to begin with.  It is hard for me to see and actually comprehend every word, phrase, comma, punctuation, sentence composition, flow and content for parts that may drag or be repetitive.  I know how the story ends.  I know what not only is written but what I thought as I wrote it for each and every character, scene and what they endure.  There are many things that I might miss, but I tried my best.  This was a book and a novel I was so proud of. 

The instructor of the class had only one criticism of my writing….he said he believe we should write for the art of writing…not fame…not fortune….or any other thing but to create.  His criticism was that the thought my writing style would make a great movie of the week.  He could visualize it as a movie.  I hate to admit I had an opinion that was different from his.  I thought it the greatest of compliments instead of a criticism that it would make a great movie.  If I could write a story that could be a novel and continue into another form of entertainment, and make a movie, what a thrill that would be to see.

I did all of my books from cover to cover.  This is one of my watercolor paintings and I can share the art and the story.

I became so passionate about this project.  I began to research how to start a process to become published.  I even sent out some query and synopsis of the book.  I got such positive and enthusiastic responses that ended with… they were not able to accept new clients or at this time………..

I did not stop writing.  When you think about times today there are so many hardships for so many people.  There are stories that tell a tale and some that share a message from the author…a moral to the story type thing.  I wanted to write something more.  I wanted to write a story that was fiction but so real they could know these people and feel for them in their trials.  They could know that there are others who suffered in life and living and trying to do their best. 

I turned on the television and there was one story after another about banks, retirements gone, jobs lost, and houses with families suffering foreclosures.  There were families out there having to endure all of that and more.  What about a chain reaction.  If the family suffers the loss of a job, they loose their home…have to move to …. where ever they can afford.  That may not be the best part of town.  It may not be as much a choice as the only option available other than being homeless or seeking shelter in one of the places for the homeless.   That may seem like a distant thing for other people, but how far are each of us if the right things went so wrong in our lives?  What would we do?  How would we survive?  What if we had children counting on us?  These are difficult things to answer and this is a fictional story, but it could be true.  What would you do?  Where would you go?

This family found an apartment in a bad part of town, but one they thought they could afford.  Who knows…. the father might get called back to work…. cut backs and all.  The mother found low wage work, but it was better than nothing…they had to survive.

What happens with the children?  Children are often very susceptible to pier pressure.  They adapt and survive.  They learn to fit in.  What were they learning and who were they fitting in with?  How is a parent supposed to find a way to control in an uncontrolled environment?  What do they do to hang on and not loose those they love the most?

This is a story that is more than just a story in a book.  This is a story of people, heart, feeling, survival and a time in history that made every struggle a story to tell of times, people, places, and life.  Life Goes On…..that is the story and that is the tale.  Life Goes On is also the thought that we need to carry us on, and know that we are strong and can survive.  We can…..

It really is more than just a story in a book.  It is more than just a story of a family.  It is a story of people and things of this times in this life.  They are fictional characters…but they could be real.  There are so many there suffering the same things.

I could have chosen Journey Home to be the first book that I published.  It will always have a special place in my heart and I believe one day it will be as a movie to thrill and entertain.  It is something that I believe is special……A story you will never forget with an ending you will not see coming.

I have wondered what I should write in this blog.  I am not sure what I am supposed to do, but what I have decided to do is continue…to share from the heart.  I know that it has not always been timely or consistent in content.  One time I may talk about something that makes me smile and another about writing.  The blog is called More Than Just A Story In A Book and this the truth.  When I write there is more than just the story in the book.  I try to make the story come to life and have meaning to those who read it as well as entertain.

The name of the blog is  More Than Just A Story In A Book….I am going to make a confession now… really is…..  The blog and the books are more than just a story.  I wanted to give heart and soul and something special in any and everything that I write.  I do not want to preach or enforce my own opinions in the stories, but let the stories speak, and be and touch each person who reads them in their own ways.  I want them to be alive in simple words on a page and to be able to reach out.

I chose Life Goes On as my last chance to reach out to others.  We did not know if I would live through the surgery and cancer.  I did not have long to wait and do Journey Home that I love so much.  Life Goes On might have special meaning when you think about it all ….. Each book I have written have features… not always obvious…. that might relate to others.  I want them to touch the reader.

What would you do if all of your life you had a dream?  It had to wait.   There were so many other things you needed to do with family, children, friends, life in general…..Wait ….but, someday you might…you dream…you hope….and then….

On more than one occasion they were so sure you would not survive, but you lived.  No matter what …you did not give up….now…then….you were not giving up, but there are times you have to be realistic.  Even anesthesia is a fearsome thing for me.  You remember when you woke up on life support and they were so sure there was no  hope….You remember other times you were so close to passing from this life to the next it was hard to tell…dead or alive….

They say take out the whole upper lobe and the other parts of the lungs are not functioning as they should….for awhile they can not even consider the surgery.  The surgeon said he will not be the one that kills me or leaves me on life support…. a vegetable?

This was a very stressful time and every day that passed that cancer was growing.  Am I just a memory to be forgotten or thought of now and then?  What can I do to reach out beyond the grave or beyond this life and touch or speak to others?  What if my little book is more than a story?  What if it is more than something others can relate to?  What if it is a symbol…to never give up?  What if it is proof that dreams really can come true?  I chose it to help others to remember tolerance and understanding….action, choices and consequences to not only our selves, but those who love us.  I chose it thinking it might be my last chance to make a real dream come true.  I held it in my hands before the surgery and it was a dream you could hold in your hands.  Now it is my gift to you.

I am going to write about what I write.  I am going to talk about more than just a story in a book.  I am going to talk about many things.  I hope you join me.  I hope you hear my words and share your thought too.  I am not going to give up…not today…life really is a journey.

Read my Children's Book to my grandson's class.  It was so wonderful.  Memories to cherish and remember

Friday, April 6, 2012

What Will This Day Bring??????

This is my watercolor painting I used to make the book cover

Today is the last day to get the ebook    I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey free.  I wanted this to be something special right before Easter.  It is my own story and I hope it helps others to hold onto hope and know that things can work out if we do not give up….if we do not give up…I think I will read that title over and over.  There are times in all of our lives that are difficult but we must find the strength to deal with so many different things.

I will admit that I have had a set back and have not been doing too well.  I know what I have to do and am working each day to get back on my feet.  That is a depressing thing to deal with.  Any chronic condition is one that may get better but will never go away….it is chronic.

Seeing the beautiful day outside the window you view the world from is often less of a comfort than a reminder of what used to be or could be or should be, but is not in life.  What is it that I look for out that window?  What am I looking for in life?

As I have pondered these things I remember why I wrote that book.  I wanted it to be something that could reach out to others.  I wanted it to be able to touch others and maybe make a difference.  I wanted to share hope.  I need to remember to have hope and courage and find the strength inside to be and do what I know is right.

When you talk about a chronic condition, it is a sad and fear filled thing to have congestive heart failure and the best that the heart can function is in the 30 something percent range.  If a person suffers something like that and multiple other problems including diabetes you worry….what is the future…what will tomorrow bring?

Yesterday the ambulance came and took my mother away to the hospital.  She is so pale.  This breaks my heart.  It has happened so many times before, and each time you never know if it is the last.  Each time I cry for my momma.  Easter is almost here…..

Most families have their issues to work out.  In life we have times that we do not understand what motivates some to act and do as they do.  Sometimes we have to stand our ground and stop being used and mistreated.  Sometimes we have to be able to find the strength to forgive and make peace.  Sometimes we have to stop being angry no matter how much we feel hurt or have been mistreated and just love or stand back.  They say that there is a time and place for all things. 

What ever the issues I might have with one or two family members… it is time to see and focus on what is important.

The love in my heart is what is important.  Finding a way to let my mother feel that love even as she is fighting for her life is important.  Finding a way to stop the tears that are running down my face is important…
I would write more but I will soon be contacting the hospital to see how things are going.  I wrote a book that shared my life and hope it might make a difference.  I am sharing this and more for the same….  I hope it helps someone somewhere who may be going through the same things or other things. 

Easter is almost here and I pray we will all be together this year too even if it is in the hospital visiting.

I am going to sit back and look through my own book.  It is not because I can not remember that far back or do not know what I wrote….  I will look at that book and remember I believe it to be true and I do not need to give up….Not today.

Me and my mother.....
I Will Not Give Up...Not Today...Life Is A Journey     US  UK 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Why Do I Write?

There are many reasons we write.  There are times for a job or some special occasion that we have to write something.  There may be a class assignment.  There are times we want to share a special thought or message to a friend.  There are also times we write because we have to.  We feel a need that is more than a desire and the words scream to be freed.

There may be a story that takes shape or even the wisp of an idea of a story that can not be ignored….  And the story or book begins. 

When I wrote the first novel it started with the idea of helping my daughter to find a way to write a short story.  She and my husband became so excited exclaiming that I should write my own short story….so I did but it did not stop until it was over 550 pages.  After much work and editing and many other things it finally became Journey Home.

When I wrote my second novel I had been thinking about how difficult it is at this time with so many out of work, high prices and all there is to contend with to survive.  Gas prices go up and more and more we hear of people even loosing their homes.  What happens to them?  Where do they go?  What do they do?  What if it was me, or you, or…..  What if? 

I thought of the problems we have as we grow up.  There are problems in relationships.  There are difficulties when we try to determine what is best with our children.  Changes in life can be so difficult no matter who we are or what the age.

That is when I knew I wanted to write a story that would have all of that and more.  I wanted it to be so interesting you might want to know what happened then.  I have been so delighted when so many people that have read the book want to know ….what next?  What happened to them then?  I will write more.  Now that we know them we can share their lives and adventures.  Life Goes On is the name of the book and it will go on…soon.

When I wrote the children’s book I have to say that it was near and dear to my heart and so many others through the years.  It started as a poem.  I believe that we should teach and learn all through our lives to the best of our abilities.  Our boys came in one day from school and told me that poetry is awful.  I had to laugh.  They were at that age.  I explained that poetry could tell a story.

“Sure, a love story…yuck.”
Most children love a spooky story so I decide to write a poem…that tells a story…of a haunted pumpkin field.  We have had so much fun with it through the years with…our children, grandchildren, neighboring children, friends, relatives, nieces and nephews, cousins, children in local schools and even at one of the state parks.

 Many adults find more meaning to the little book than the children.  One even told me it was like a secret code that each understood in their own way and own age.  I wanted it to me more than just a story in a book. 

When you talk about the dark of night you can help a child overcome their fear of the dark by showing that even in darkness there is light as you point out the beauty of a full moon or stars above.  You can help them to realize that in the darkness there are the same things as in the light.  We have to look and try to see good things and overcome the fear to succeed.

As an adult or young adult reads the same thing they may come to share thoughts of how dark there are in some times of their life.  How difficult in those dark times it is to find the light or know what way to turn.  There are times they feel lost.

I wanted the whole book to be one that can do more than tell a story.

I made posters to help the characters come to life.  They showed that and even wrote about it in one of the newspapers.  When I decided to make it into a book there was so much more to it.  I wanted each and every page to be one of my art works and that is what I did.  I wanted to bring the characters to life in word and sight.

A Tale To Tell is a collection of my short stories that I hope are very entertaining but more too.  In these little stories there are many things.  As we grow older we may forget what peer pressure is like in school.  In the story The Midnight Hour one boy learns that and that you might want to think about doing something you know is wrong especially in a haunted cemetery at …the midnight hour.  There are other things that might come to mind as we contemplate things such as the pressure a person might feel trying to do a be more in life.  I tried to do many things but above all I hope to have written stories you will enjoy and want to share with others.

That brings me to the book that is going to be free for three days.  I would love to promote the book.  I would love to be able to tell the world about this little book.  I want more than that.  I am not sure there are words for what is in my heart.  I thought it impossible to find words to share the things that I did in the book….but I did my best.
I did not write it to entertain.  I wrote it to share...something more than the words you read.  I wrote this to share me with others and the hope that no matter what...we do not give up...not today. I wrote this and want to give it freely wishing you find meaning and hope.

I had never intended to write any nonfiction let alone about me.  I felt the desire to write and share this not for me but to reach out….to?...who ever I can.  I tried to find words that could actually share these moments, feelings, and emotions and as I did there were times that I cried.  It was not that I could not remember.  I remember all too well.  It was real and as I tried to find words it was real again….and I cried.

Now I do not cry with tears or regret or sorrow.  I am filled with emotion and know as difficult and painful as life can be there are so many wonderful things we could miss if we give up or forget to look for the beauty and life.

My Easter gift is to offer this part of my heart and life for free for three days and hope that it might reach beyond the pages with the thoughts and details described to help others.  I hope that as each person reads the words they too feel they will not give up…not today… and that they have a wonderful journey in their own lives ahead. I hope they feel the wonder of a new day and hope for the future.   
I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey
                                    Ebook  US     
                                    Ebook  UK

When I worked to make what I had written into books I continued with the idea of watching and working to make my dreams come true.  I wanted even the covers to be something special from me.  I did my own covers.  I can share my love of art too.  I used one of my photos and one pastel art work.  The others are my paintings.  I can share my paintings with my books and hope you enjoy.

Why do I write?  I guess it is my voice and I want to sing out another story, book, something special…..I write because it is me.  I write because I could not do otherwise.