Follow @LindaJNance

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Today Is The Day

             I posted this pictures asking what would Today Is The Day mean to you. I have heard so many responses and each different. When I thought of it my feelings were not those of hope filled with the beauty of life. I had begun to feel hopeless and tired. When I say tired, it is more than a lack of sleep. When I say tired, it is an immense feeling through and through. I have hurt so long with no way to escape the constant pain. I have tried to adapt and adjust and find ways to go forward and find meaning in life. In the last few years I have survived cancer, heart issues and even more than that. I began to feel tired.

            When I wrote the book telling the story of part of my life called I will Not Give Up...Not Today...Life is a Journey    ( US     and UK   I  intended to not just tell about my life or things I had done or plan to do. I wanted to share the thought that as hard as life can become, we can not give up. There may be so much beauty and happiness ahead we would miss if we fail to find ways to reach out in life. I still believe that and have been delighted at the responses to the book. I wanted to write something that could reach beyond the pages and touch or help others. I wanted to be able to use words to share life and created hope.

            That brings me back to this post Today Is The Day. I had said so many times that I would not give up....not today, but had begun to question if that day was near. Is Today the day????? It is not a suicidal thought but one of lost hope. I have worked most of my life to overcome problems and try to go forward in life. I have worked very hard to not just be alive but to live life the best that I can. I do have some health issues to deal with. I do not have to do anything but quit working so hard to keep going and find my health declining.

            Living every hour in pain takes a toll. I finally was able to find a doctor who prescribed medication to help but the pain is still unending. I think of my beautiful grandsons and children and see the trees beginning to change color and realize what a wonderful world and precious life this is.

            I recently had a procedure done to block the pain in a portion of my back that radiates all the way down to my foot. I have to admit I was afraid. When you deal with nerves and the spinal cord there are so many things that can go wrong. My foot still has broken bones that after being pinned re-broke. My bones are now too fragile to hold the pins. Every step has been with pain and even sitting resting, it often throbs.

           I had been warned that the procedure was painful and it was. What happened after that amazed me. I did have some numbness down the leg as if it was partly asleep but I did still have feeling and could tell if it was being touched but I felt no pain. My back in that area was not hurting, my leg did not have the terrible cramps and pain and even more than foot did not hurt. For 14 years I have lived with the pain in my foot. It did not hurt. I must have appeared unhinged as I sat moving it back and forth watching it and even thumped it on the floor. My husband looked concerned and asked if I was alright.

            I had to smile and laugh saying “Oh yes. I am more than alright. It does not hurt. I can not believe it. It does not hurt.”

            I know there are many more procedures to go and there are no guarantees but I have hope. I do not hope to be fully healed and young and healthy because I know that is not to be. I hope to be able to enjoy the wonderful people and times in this life. I hope to be able to make a difference and do many things. I hope to be able to share the love of those around me.

            Yesterday is gone and will never be again. Tomorrow is not yet here but Today is the day..... May we live for today, learn from yesterday and look forward to tomorrow with hope and joy in our hearts.

            Today Is The Day....... yes it is. Every new day is the day to remember we can do so many things if we do not give up....not today.

 I love to use my water color paintings to be able to add words to share....

No comments:

Post a Comment