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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Early Morning

This morning is a new day. 

The sun was not yet up when I woke and thought of the many things I want to get done this day.  When I thought of the many things I need to do… and then want to do…. then wish I could do….

It progressed in an instant to the things I would love to do…things I can no longer do… things, people, times, and things in life… flashing more than focused and almost felt more than thoughts as it washed through me.

I often wake before the sun rises.  If I am honest I can not remember when I had even a single night that I slept through, other than many years ago when I was young. 

What came and almost overcame this morning is not something inspiring to bring hope and joy.  It was a quiet and lonely, almost lost feeling from nowhere.  It almost felt hopeless when the realization of all that can never be and I will never be able to do developed into more than an impression and became a distinct fact of life as it is now. 

I realized I have not stepped outside of the house now since we went and had such a wonderful time at the Plantation Theater and heard the wonderful music and shared good times with friendly and smiling people.  We did have a good time.

I love the site of the Dog Wood trees.  They are and have been in full bloom.  It almost takes my breath away to see the delicate beauty.  Sometimes it makes me think of white clouds drifting in a sky of green as you gaze into the forest seeing hundreds of trees loaded with the white flowers.  They are here for such a short time.  Why…why would I miss seeing them?  It is not that hard to find them.  I can walk out into the back yard and there they are.

Why would I miss the early morning sunrise if I am awake and not enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee and think of….    Think of????

Now that is right back to where I started.  I think back….. to not long ago we went to visit some friends of ours we had not seen in such a long time.  We were met with smiling faces and spent hours talking and laughing.  We marveled at the beauty of their new home and the work they had done to make it something special.  It is so beautiful in so many ways.  They had suffered the devastation of a fire that took from them so much.  There are many things you can never replace.  You can think back and say I should have made copies of this or that but as the flames consumed all in their hunger, they took all with them.  There are many things we can loose in life but when  you have spent a lifetime building memories it is so pleasant to hold that old photo and see it, or hear a song you composed and performed together with someone you love.  With those things, you have more than money can buy.

The house that they lost, they had designed and built together.  When we saw their smiling faces and enjoyed every moment of the visit, I realized what an inspiration they are.  They faced all that was happened and made a new beginning.  They looked until they found this or that to add to and make more of their surroundings and home.  They did not give up.  There are many more good times to be had and shared when you find friends that are special and in the heart.

While we were there I woke early and the sunrise was so peaceful and beautiful I had to take a picture of it.  I wanted to capture that moment.  It is the photo I used here. 

There are so many other wonderful times and memories.  Thinking back and looking back I can see how many spectacular things I have had.  I see family, friends, loved ones, special times shared and moments that warm my heart.  I see more.  I see that there is room for more future memories.  There is time and room to make what I want for life not dwell on what is not.  There is this day. 

The sun is up now.  It is bright and beautiful outside my window.  I am still thinking.  I am thinking that life is not what we have lost or morn.  Life is not, what will never be.  Life is every moment knowing how blessed we are to have this day.  Life is living and doing the best that we can…not watching it pass by, gazing out the window and allowing sad feelings that we missed it.

My list of things I think I want to do just became shorter.  Right now as I sit here…. I want to appreciate the day.  I want to do the best that I can.  I am going to go outside and look at the flowers.  I am going to see those Dog Wood trees before their moment of glory is gone and know I am blessed to have this day.

I have memories too… and some are so bright and shining.   I see this picture and remember like yesterday when my children were young enjoying a visit with my mother, their grandmother.  Now I have grandchildren and they light my life.   I want to make new memories by living my life and not waiting and looking out a window as it slips by.

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