More Than Just A Story In A Book: motivation

Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Reviews, Comments, Messages, Emails and every person who has taken the time by phone or in person to tell me……. What it did to me?

Well, I have been gone for awhile but am back. I was going to explain how busy I have been, but I promised to be honest and will admit that I have not felt too good for…. I can not remember when I felt good physically. My mind races with ideas and my heart is filled with ideas for things I hope could live on and reach out to help others …. But…. I got sick and have been so very tired. What to do? What can I do?

Well…. I can do anything. I can do what ever I am willing to work hard and believe in. I may not do it quickly. I may not do it as well as some, but I will do it in my own way and it will be real. I understand that I am lacking in some of the technical areas but what is in my heart and mind is intense…

When I write a fiction story, I want it to be the best that it can be. I try with the punctuation and grammar and will continue to work at it. When we talk about a story or something we create, I want to make it as real as possible. I want it to have depth and feeling as well as a story to be told. I want you to know the people, see the places and feel as if you had been there.

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Goes-On-ebook/dp/B004XJ6U26/ref=sr_1_4_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336542928&sr=1-4

If we talk about the first book I chose to publish, there was a reason I chose it. No matter where you live there may be difficult times in life. This family is facing circumstances that could have destroyed them. The father lost his job; they lost their home and were forced to live in an area they hated, with their children. They thought they knew and understood their lives but in the new surroundings found things and influences so intense and different they were unsure about every aspect of their lives and futures. Little by little they were loosing their children and their hope. They thought they could guide and parent by communication and discussions and found their children were adapting and learning to use those things to their advantage, not to understand and work with the parents but avoid and do what they had in mind. They had lived a life that had consequences such as being grounded or a parent’s disapproval but had entered a life with consequences that could last a life time and involve more than themselves.

When they were evicted from that place, life would take a drastic turn. How they could deal with it and where they would go would be something that would forever change them each and every one. This is more than a story of a thing or a person or circumstance. This is a story of family, heart and life. It is a story with no end because with every story it goes on. There will be the days of our youth but in the blink of the eye there is a new generation to carry on.

I chose this story because I hoped it would be something others could not only be entertained by but relate to. We hope to find the best ways to work with and provide for our children but there are not always right answers. There are times that are not easy. There times of uncertainty. What then? This is not a book that shows all of the right choices. It is not a book that tells you what you should and should not do. I do not have those answers. This is a story…. Of their lives and that there are consequences for the choices we make. Young and old alike, learn how life can have it’s darkest hours but there is always hope. We have to believe and ….Life Goes On.

As I contemplated what to publish, there were so many things on my mind. When it comes to health issues I have been told many things that left little hope but that is not always a bad thing. One doctor was so sweet it seemed to almost break his heart to have to tell me the truth. He had been very professional and one I would trust my life to. You could tell he was a heart felt person with a difficult job. Me… What was my future? No one would answer any questions directly. The answers were very grim. I believe the things I found out were true, but we do not always know God’s plan for us. There are some times we do have to understand that no matter what our desires or plans or determination, the body may be weak. It may not be what is meant to be…. Or did we give up?

If that was not enough to find an inoperable mass under the aorta….what can I do? The surgery could kill me and the chemo might or radiation…so ……..

When they said it has spread and was in some really bad areas right next to the lymph nodes, with the arteries that supply the lung on the left side and 2 other places….. Not good. Take away the arteries and …… in the lymph and ????

What to do? I did not want to give up. I would not give up. But what if I did not make it? I wanted the things that I had written to live on. I wanted others to know the characters and see some things they related to. I wanted the stories to be something real for them. I wanted to see something I had written become a book I could hold in my hand. Just once, I wanted to hold the book in my hand.

I did.

I had no idea what others would think of it. Would they find it interesting? Would they feel as if the characters were real enough they knew them? Would the story be believable? So many questions but the real question right then is would I live to see any of it?

When I came out of the surgery I was in a lot of pain. I was hooked to oxygen and fighting for life…but filled with the desire to fight for more….I would not give up. I did not know what the future would hold even after the surgery. I know not the number of my days but that is something we fail to realize. We never know the number of our days so we have to make the most of each and every one.

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Home-ebook/dp/B0054GLX92/ref=sr_1_3_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336542928&sr=1-3

Journey Home will always be dear to my heart. It is the first novel I wrote. My daughter and husband gave me the strength to believe that I could do it. I could not afford anything extra with all of the medical expenses. If a person has pre-existing illnesses and can not afford insurance it is amazing how life can be. It affects the whole family. They told me not to worry, but do what was in my heart.

A dear woman I met on the internet offered to help and help she did in more than one way. She helped editing and for me to get it uploaded and ready to go. I had even done the cover myself from one of my paintings.

Years ago I loved to do little art projects with the children and my father in-law expressed his admiration for what I did. I painted him a picture of a path. I start with a blank piece of paper and wait for the feeling to come and then just paint. That is what I did, and I told him it was his path. When I decided to choose a cover, I think that path would have taken them where they need to go in the book. That path shows the journey they would take. When we think of a journey, we do not always realize it is the one that might take us where we need to go to find not only a location, but a place of the heart that is home. Journey Home is the journey to home. The painting was his, but is now the cover for all to find the Journey Home.

When I wrote it I wanted others to find a story that would hold their interest but more. I wanted characters or people who were so real they could feel with them and understand or relate to them. I wanted an ending they would not see half way through the book. I have read so many where when you start, you understand who did it and why, and it was a good book, but you knew who did it…..

http://www.amazon.com/The-Pumpkin-Field-Linda-Nance/dp/1461044812/ref=sr_1_6_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336542928&sr=1-6

I did not want to give up…not today. I wanted to do more. The Children’s book is one that is not only in my heart but my whole family’s….and neighbors and friends. It is a little book that I wrote for my own children we could use all the years of their lives to relate to things and touch their hearts. It is a book of rhyme that has more than the story and the poem.

Each and every line of the poem has special meaning and applications that can be made from little child to adult. There have been more people than I can count that have sat with me and discussed this little poem and instantly related to things in their lives. One day I may try to write it all out but then again it is always better when there are things from the heart to speak to another of heart.

http://www.amazon.com/A-Tale-To-Tell-ebook/dp/B007ESJ49Y/ref=sr_1_5_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336542928&sr=1-5

A Tale To Tell has it’s own story too. We had some huge trees in the yard that dropped branches. When I told the children…. “If I only had a few branches we could have a bonfire.” It was not long before the yard was cleared… and we had a bonfire. There are many tales to be told around a bonfire depending on the audience and age. These tales have not only the ability to entertain but also enlighten. I wanted to not only create shadow but also light. In one of the stories…’The Midnight Hour’…. Peer pressure plays a part. We might forget how strong such a thing can be. There are many other tales and more to come.

http://www.amazon.com/Will-Up-Today-Journey-ebook/dp/B00730UT6A/ref=sr_1_1_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336542928&sr=1-1

That brings me to the one with the very long title…. I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey. You may buy or get the small e-book or paperback book and think that you have a book. This is my heart, my feelings, my life, my dreams and me. How can we say that is a book. To me …. It makes me so vulnerable. What if it is misunderstood because I failed to be able to covey the things of my heart? What if this is something that I write and share to the world that does no good at all? I did not write it to help me as therapeutic. I did not even want to write it. I did because I had to write it. I had to share the idea….not to give up. We can…. I Will Not Give Up…Not today…Life Is a Journey.

This book is not a simple memoir. It is not about my life. My life is the example but the book is the message. I am not rich or famous. I am not strong or outstanding. I am just a regular person with a passion. I felt called to share from the heart things that were, and feelings ,and all that is in the book. I felt the need to …. To…. Reach out? I am unsure. What if there is someone some where who needs to know there is hope? What if there is someone somewhere who needs to feel a kinship and know that they are not alone in what they feel? What if this little book could make a difference? If it is only one person who needs it….what is the profit? When we talk about profit…what is the worth? If this book helps you then I feel it’s worth. Even if it is free I feel I have succeeded.

I sell this book but it is offered in that sale as my gift to any one who might benefit or to someone they know who is having a difficult time. Do not give up….not today. We are all on a Journey in life and it is that journey that will take us to amazing places and people who will make life grand. One day at a time we can make it.

I have told you about all of the books I have out now, but what about the title of this essay? Reviews, Comments, Messages, Emails and every person who has taken the time by phone or in person to tell me……. What it did to me?

I have worked many years of my life and put a lot into the things that I write. I understand that they are not perfect and I could wait and hope to one day have them edited professionally. I could wait but then again, maybe I cannot. I can not wait. I can not let life pass me by. This is my time. This is my life. I can not wait for another day. Every day that passes is another day gone. Another day lost???? How many are my days? I would like to say how many are my years but I do not know?

I keep working here on the blog, the fan page, and several other things. I keep working with the books. I keep trying but…. What and how do others perceive what I have written? Do they hear my voice and know my heart? Do they read the story and find an interest or …….

Every review of every book has warmed my heart. I want each person who took the time to write a review to know how much it means to me. I want you to know that you reach out to another with hope and affirmation as well as things I need to know to work to make my writing better. You encourage and help in your observations to help me make the things to come the best that I can. I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time.

You will never know how much the things you have shared have meant to me. You will not know how much you have touched my heart. Know that the time you took is something that will echo and live with me. I have actually cried reading reviews. They were not tears of disappointment but of hope that what I had dreamed was becoming real….. I could reach out to others. What was in my heart and soul could be known and understood.

What it did to me? It made my heart soar. It made me feel as if I will not give up….not today and that this journey in life is not alone. …. The journey in life is not alone. That is so much.

I read reviews, messages and comments….and they made my heart fly to the heavens and know that I can not give up…..there is tomorrow and I will be here.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Confessions of an Author

This is the original photo I used to make the book cover.

More than just a story in a book?.... That is what I called this blog and that is what it is. It is what I would like to make it. I want to be able to have a voice and share many things….here it is.

I am not always right in the things I may think or believe, but I try my best in life. When it comes to life it is not always easy. We may find times we never dreamed we would see, let alone have to live through and survive. There may be times that worry our minds and test our souls. There may be times we might never forget even if we want to, or times we might never forget because we need to remember to never repeat that part again.

There came a time in my life when I viewed my survival as doubtful. I was not sure that I would live. I have written and spoke much about this, but that is because it is so intensely imbedded in my being. I have always loved to write and hoped and dreamed to one day be published. I even went to college and took an advanced fictional writing course to help me improve and make what I had written better. I wrote. I wrote a novel and it thrilled me beyond words. It was watching part of a dream come true. I had written short stories and poetry almost as one would write a journal. This was different. This was a full length novel that I felt was a story to be enjoyed and could take the reader there with them. It was long enough to make two books.

After I took the class I was able to view what I had written in a different way. I could see things that did not need to be there…and others that needed to be rephrased. I could see many more things and totally rewrote the book. I started at the first word of the first sentence and did my best. I would love to have things professionally done. It is impossible for me to edit my own writing as professionally as another could do.

One thing is repetitive phrases or words. If we have a certain speech pattern it will not be obvious to us if it is overused. Details are difficult to critique since I wrote it to begin with. It is hard for me to see and actually comprehend every word, phrase, comma, punctuation, sentence composition, flow and content for parts that may drag or be repetitive. I know how the story ends. I know what not only is written but what I thought as I wrote it for each and every character, scene and what they endure. There are many things that I might miss, but I tried my best. This was a book and a novel I was so proud of.

The instructor of the class had only one criticism of my writing….he said he believe we should write for the art of writing…not fame…not fortune….or any other thing but to create. His criticism was that the thought my writing style would make a great movie of the week. He could visualize it as a movie. I hate to admit I had an opinion that was different from his. I thought it the greatest of compliments instead of a criticism that it would make a great movie. If I could write a story that could be a novel and continue into another form of entertainment, and make a movie, what a thrill that would be to see.


I did all of my books from cover to cover. This is one of my watercolor paintings and I can share the art and the story.

I became so passionate about this project. I began to research how to start a process to become published. I even sent out some query and synopsis of the book. I got such positive and enthusiastic responses that ended with… they were not able to accept new clients or at this time………..

I did not stop writing. When you think about times today there are so many hardships for so many people. There are stories that tell a tale and some that share a message from the author…a moral to the story type thing. I wanted to write something more. I wanted to write a story that was fiction but so real they could know these people and feel for them in their trials. They could know that there are others who suffered in life and living and trying to do their best.

I turned on the television and there was one story after another about banks, retirements gone, jobs lost, and houses with families suffering foreclosures. There were families out there having to endure all of that and more. What about a chain reaction. If the family suffers the loss of a job, they loose their home…have to move to …. where ever they can afford. That may not be the best part of town. It may not be as much a choice as the only option available other than being homeless or seeking shelter in one of the places for the homeless. That may seem like a distant thing for other people, but how far are each of us if the right things went so wrong in our lives? What would we do? How would we survive? What if we had children counting on us? These are difficult things to answer and this is a fictional story, but it could be true. What would you do? Where would you go?

This family found an apartment in a bad part of town, but one they thought they could afford. Who knows…. the father might get called back to work…. cut backs and all. The mother found low wage work, but it was better than nothing…they had to survive.

What happens with the children? Children are often very susceptible to pier pressure. They adapt and survive. They learn to fit in. What were they learning and who were they fitting in with? How is a parent supposed to find a way to control in an uncontrolled environment? What do they do to hang on and not loose those they love the most?

This is a story that is more than just a story in a book. This is a story of people, heart, feeling, survival and a time in history that made every struggle a story to tell of times, people, places, and life. Life Goes On…..that is the story and that is the tale. Life Goes On is also the thought that we need to carry us on, and know that we are strong and can survive. We can…..

It really is more than just a story in a book. It is more than just a story of a family. It is a story of people and things of this times in this life. They are fictional characters…but they could be real. There are so many there suffering the same things.

I could have chosen Journey Home to be the first book that I published. It will always have a special place in my heart and I believe one day it will be as a movie to thrill and entertain. It is something that I believe is special……A story you will never forget with an ending you will not see coming.

I have wondered what I should write in this blog. I am not sure what I am supposed to do, but what I have decided to do is continue…to share from the heart. I know that it has not always been timely or consistent in content. One time I may talk about something that makes me smile and another about writing. The blog is called More Than Just A Story In A Book and this the truth. When I write there is more than just the story in the book. I try to make the story come to life and have meaning to those who read it as well as entertain.

The name of the blog is More Than Just A Story In A Book….I am going to make a confession now…..it really is….. The blog and the books are more than just a story. I wanted to give heart and soul and something special in any and everything that I write. I do not want to preach or enforce my own opinions in the stories, but let the stories speak, and be and touch each person who reads them in their own ways. I want them to be alive in simple words on a page and to be able to reach out.

I chose Life Goes On as my last chance to reach out to others. We did not know if I would live through the surgery and cancer. I did not have long to wait and do Journey Home that I love so much. Life Goes On might have special meaning when you think about it all ….. Each book I have written have features… not always obvious…. that might relate to others. I want them to touch the reader.

What would you do if all of your life you had a dream? It had to wait. There were so many other things you needed to do with family, children, friends, life in general…..Wait ….but, someday you might…you dream…you hope….and then….

On more than one occasion they were so sure you would not survive, but you lived. No matter what …you did not give up….now…then….you were not giving up, but there are times you have to be realistic. Even anesthesia is a fearsome thing for me. You remember when you woke up on life support and they were so sure there was no hope….You remember other times you were so close to passing from this life to the next it was hard to tell…dead or alive….

They say take out the whole upper lobe and the other parts of the lungs are not functioning as they should….for awhile they can not even consider the surgery. The surgeon said he will not be the one that kills me or leaves me on life support…. a vegetable?

This was a very stressful time and every day that passed that cancer was growing. Am I just a memory to be forgotten or thought of now and then? What can I do to reach out beyond the grave or beyond this life and touch or speak to others? What if my little book is more than a story? What if it is more than something others can relate to? What if it is a symbol…to never give up? What if it is proof that dreams really can come true? I chose it to help others to remember tolerance and understanding….action, choices and consequences to not only our selves, but those who love us. I chose it thinking it might be my last chance to make a real dream come true. I held it in my hands before the surgery and it was a dream you could hold in your hands. Now it is my gift to you.

I am going to write about what I write. I am going to talk about more than just a story in a book. I am going to talk about many things. I hope you join me. I hope you hear my words and share your thought too. I am not going to give up…not today…life really is a journey.

Read my Children's Book to my grandson's class. It was so wonderful. Memories to cherish and remember

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Why Do I Write?

There are many reasons we write. There are times for a job or some special occasion that we have to write something. There may be a class assignment. There are times we want to share a special thought or message to a friend. There are also times we write because we have to. We feel a need that is more than a desire and the words scream to be freed.

There may be a story that takes shape or even the wisp of an idea of a story that can not be ignored…. And the story or book begins.

When I wrote the first novel it started with the idea of helping my daughter to find a way to write a short story. She and my husband became so excited exclaiming that I should write my own short story….so I did but it did not stop until it was over 550 pages. After much work and editing and many other things it finally became Journey Home.

When I wrote my second novel I had been thinking about how difficult it is at this time with so many out of work, high prices and all there is to contend with to survive. Gas prices go up and more and more we hear of people even loosing their homes. What happens to them? Where do they go? What do they do? What if it was me, or you, or….. What if?

I thought of the problems we have as we grow up. There are problems in relationships. There are difficulties when we try to determine what is best with our children. Changes in life can be so difficult no matter who we are or what the age.

That is when I knew I wanted to write a story that would have all of that and more. I wanted it to be so interesting you might want to know what happened then. I have been so delighted when so many people that have read the book want to know ….what next? What happened to them then? I will write more. Now that we know them we can share their lives and adventures. Life Goes On is the name of the book and it will go on…soon.

When I wrote the children’s book I have to say that it was near and dear to my heart and so many others through the years. It started as a poem. I believe that we should teach and learn all through our lives to the best of our abilities. Our boys came in one day from school and told me that poetry is awful. I had to laugh. They were at that age. I explained that poetry could tell a story.

“Sure, a love story…yuck.”

Most children love a spooky story so I decide to write a poem…that tells a story…of a haunted pumpkin field. We have had so much fun with it through the years with…our children, grandchildren, neighboring children, friends, relatives, nieces and nephews, cousins, children in local schools and even at one of the state parks.

Many adults find more meaning to the little book than the children. One even told me it was like a secret code that each understood in their own way and own age. I wanted it to me more than just a story in a book.

When you talk about the dark of night you can help a child overcome their fear of the dark by showing that even in darkness there is light as you point out the beauty of a full moon or stars above. You can help them to realize that in the darkness there are the same things as in the light. We have to look and try to see good things and overcome the fear to succeed.

As an adult or young adult reads the same thing they may come to share thoughts of how dark there are in some times of their life. How difficult in those dark times it is to find the light or know what way to turn. There are times they feel lost.

I wanted the whole book to be one that can do more than tell a story.

I made posters to help the characters come to life. They showed that and even wrote about it in one of the newspapers. When I decided to make it into a book there was so much more to it. I wanted each and every page to be one of my art works and that is what I did. I wanted to bring the characters to life in word and sight.

A Tale To Tell is a collection of my short stories that I hope are very entertaining but more too. In these little stories there are many things. As we grow older we may forget what peer pressure is like in school. In the story The Midnight Hour one boy learns that and that you might want to think about doing something you know is wrong especially in a haunted cemetery at …the midnight hour. There are other things that might come to mind as we contemplate things such as the pressure a person might feel trying to do a be more in life. I tried to do many things but above all I hope to have written stories you will enjoy and want to share with others.

That brings me to the book that is going to be free for three days. I would love to promote the book. I would love to be able to tell the world about this little book. I want more than that. I am not sure there are words for what is in my heart. I thought it impossible to find words to share the things that I did in the book….but I did my best.

I did not write it to entertain. I wrote it to share...something more than the words you read. I wrote this to share me with others and the hope that no matter what...we do not give up...not today. I wrote this and want to give it freely wishing you find meaning and hope.

I had never intended to write any nonfiction let alone about me. I felt the desire to write and share this not for me but to reach out….to?...who ever I can. I tried to find words that could actually share these moments, feelings, and emotions and as I did there were times that I cried. It was not that I could not remember. I remember all too well. It was real and as I tried to find words it was real again….and I cried.

Now I do not cry with tears or regret or sorrow. I am filled with emotion and know as difficult and painful as life can be there are so many wonderful things we could miss if we give up or forget to look for the beauty and life.

My Easter gift is to offer this part of my heart and life for free for three days and hope that it might reach beyond the pages with the thoughts and details described to help others. I hope that as each person reads the words they too feel they will not give up…not today… and that they have a wonderful journey in their own lives ahead. I hope they feel the wonder of a new day and hope for the future.

I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey

Ebook US http://amzn.to/yf1tdZ

Ebook UK http://amzn.to/xcWxDd

When I worked to make what I had written into books I continued with the idea of watching and working to make my dreams come true. I wanted even the covers to be something special from me. I did my own covers. I can share my love of art too. I used one of my photos and one pastel art work. The others are my paintings. I can share my paintings with my books and hope you enjoy.

Why do I write? I guess it is my voice and I want to sing out another story, book, something special…..I write because it is me. I write because I could not do otherwise.

http://amzn.to/GUxbro

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award: ME?

When I received notice that a friend and fellow blogger had nominated me for the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award I was thrilled to be thought of and then wondered what I had written that was irresistibly sweet. In some ways sharing special things dear to us is something very sweet and as I have found the blog All Dressed Up by Joan Lane… one that is so interesting you never want to miss as she shares so many things in her unique and talented way. I feel honored and begin to fulfill my part by sharing 7 things about myself. I hope you enjoy not only the things that I share but those shared by Joan at http://jplanewrites.blogspot.com/p/irresistibly-sweet-blog-award.html?spref=fb

I am so proud and honored to have been nominated

I am supposed to write some little known things about myself….I only have two problems with that.

I just completed a book called “I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey” That may not sound like a problem or little known fact since I have been trying to get the word out and proud to be able to share it with any and everyone. The problem with that is that I tried my best to share things from my life in accurate and intensely real detail. I did not tell every thing about my whole life but did discuss some things that were difficult to even put into words. I wrote a book to tell all about me so… what could I think of to tell now?

I do not want to be boring. I think there are many things about me and my life that are so boring I could never find words to tell. I have been thinking back…way back…back into time when??? We will have to see what all I can come up with.

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. I would love to tell you how I jumped in and experienced all of the changing and wild times that those years were famous for…but….that would be a lie.

When I was young I experienced many health issues and some were intense. For a time I had to be admitted to Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital in St. Louis, Mo., and was there for some time. I was not physically disabled, so often would get bored as children do and frustrated with all of the tests and needles and looked for other entertainment. They had two programs that I especially liked. Recreational and Occupational Therapy were the high points of my days. Even as a young child I had always loved to do art related things. I also wrote.

With my enthusiasm I could recruit other children in the group to participate and see what all we could make. When you take the time to look around in life, you can see so much. I had my own problems but there were those who had such illness, injury, and so many things including cancer that my heart went out to them one and all. They faced so much, yet showed so much courage. You wanted to reach out and make it better but all you could do is try to make them smile for the moment….especially if you too were only a child.

At that time I thought I was so grown up but now 11 or 12 seems like a baby. As I sit here now and think back, it renews my feelings for those children all around the world that suffer…suffer from so many things. At that time I was determined to become a volunteer in that program. I was told that I was too young. They have rules for reasons. Some of the things you see have great emotional consequences. You have to be able to have such control of your reactions when you see things distressing, so you do not upset the patient.

One young boy had been burning trash. He did not know that there was an aerosol can in the burn barrel. When he brought out another bag it exploded embedding burning trash in his face. I was 12 but still remember. He was so distraught he would try to hide under his bed when anyone entered his room. You could not show in voice or any other way a reaction to what you saw. He was blind and if he did not come out and find a way to learn, do and live……

I do not know how, other than is seems children often will listen to another child before an adult… but as I sat on the floor beside his bed, little by little he came out. Visit after visit he began to learn to use his hands and trust others.

They allowed me to work as a volunteer. I had my little candy striper uniform and was filled with enthusiasm to make a difference…Even if it was for one child… I wanted to bring a smile, a moment of relief from all they went through or just let them know someone cared. I worked in the recreational/ occupational therapy area. I loved it and could take almost anything you might throw away and make something else out of it. The plastic caps from baby bottles they throw out became Christmas ornaments and a dozen other things with other everyday things.

I will start the second thing even though it continues from above. I loved to write poetry. I did not keep a journal but many of the poems I wrote were a reflection of things in my life or thoughts, feelings or things that inspired me. It was almost my own little code or record of this and that in life.

One of the poems I wrote when I was about 12 or 13 I will share.

Blue Eyes

A bright little girl with eyes of blue,

Cheerful and happy with a spirit so true,

Was a joy to visit and a sight to see,

A warm friendly feeling to around her be.

The hospital bed was so cold and clean.

She radiated warmth to the dreary scene.

Not knowing her illness or the burden she bore,

Never guessing the anguish or pain yet in store.

My hospital work was a pleasure to me

New at the job, there was much yet to see.

Caring for many, there was so much they did need,

Just to lighten their spirits could be a difficult deed.

But the little girl with the bright blue eyes,

Was bright and happy and never did cry.

Surely this child must not be too ill,

Such a light hearted smile and indomitable will.

The days passed by and the weeks did too.

Her cheeks grew thin, but her eyes still blue.

She still smiled and laughed, and was ever so gay,

I asked what she’d be when she grew up some day?

The smile of a child, but one filled with peace,

Came to a face that time would not crease.

She seemed oh, so happy as she told me that day,

It wouldn’t be long before Jesus took her away.

I could hardly believe what had just been said.

She lay there so small in that big hospital bed.

A look of concern came across her small face,

To me she was special, a true spirit of grace.

But that she was to many, ask any who knew,

The golden curled girl with eyes of bright blue.

Two nurses came in then to visit the child

My anguish must have shown, for my heart beat was wild.

It just wasn’t fair that this child must die.

I stepped out and asked the nurse, “please tell me why?”

“The why I can’t answer. The what I am sure.

Advanced forms of cancer, as of yet there’s no cure.”

Her time was most over. Her gold curls grew thin.

Her treatments were strong, but the cancer would win.

As her body did dwindle, her spirit stayed high.

I could not understand, so I asked the child why?

Your sickness grows worse, and so much you endure,

And I’m sure that you know they don’t have a cure.

Her smile was so warm, though her skin felt quite cold,

Her answer was cheerful and honest and bold.

“How could I be sad when I know what is to come?

I don’t have to wait long, not years as do some.

I’m leaving a life that’s nice enough here,

To go live with God and have nothing to fear.

It’s lucky I am to know Jesus, you see.

I’m ready for him when he’s ready for me.”

It was with such joy she faced what was ahead,

I knew when my time comes I have nothing to dread.

The sweet little girl we had all grown to love,

Was at home now with Jesus, up in heaven above.

They say that she died with a smile as she passed,

From the pain of this life to a new life at last.

What she left to us, was both precious and dear,

Knowing that God also lives with us here.

The little girl is gone from us left here below,

To a life filled with glory, because her Savior she did know.

Pretty Little Blue Eyes I’ll never forget.

The lesson you’ve taught still lives with me yet.

God loves you Child.

By,

Linda J. Nance

As I share this poem it brings back the sights and memories from that time. I did not exaggerate the strength and convictions of this child. She was so selfless. She had only one request. The one thing she said she wanted was a wig so that when she did leave, her momma would not cry. She thought about others even to the funeral she knew was soon to come.

I had to leave the room. I knew it was not allowed to show emotion but there was not way to hold the tears back. I was not alone. Everyone in the room glanced from one to the other with tears glistening in their eyes. A collection was swiftly made and a wig that looked like her hair before her treatments was acquired days before it would be needed.

We may hope to live our lives in a way that does something for good or touches others. She lived such a short time but her spirit and heart lives on in all who knew her and I hope to pass it on….

That brings to mind the Make A Wish Foundation. If I had plenty of money what a wonderful thing it would be to be able to make wishes come true for children like these? As it is, I think every dollar or penny counts. There is no gesture too small if it is from the heart.

I have wandered from the point that I wrote poetry. When I wrote I wanted it to have meaning and heart or in some way be sharing part of me. I think one day I will write a poetry book and share the thoughts or times that went with each one.

A different outlook. I went on to do volunteer work in a city hospital. That may not sound unusual but I was allowed to work in the ER. At that time, it was not done … especially at such a young age. I was 14 and 15. I understand now why there are such regulations. You see too much. I was so sure that I could handle it. I thought I was all grown up. There was an exception made and there I was. The staff was fantastic. I learned so much. They did keep an eye on me and of course I was never allowed to do any direct care with patients. I set up and cleaned in the rooms, but also visited and helped to keep relatives calm of those who were being treated. I stayed with patients who could benefit for one reason or another to have someone there. I could get a frightened child to smile and that may not seem like much but when they are afraid it means a lot to be able to treat them and ease their fears. I did my best…but...

I saw many things. I saw things that would make you laugh. I saw things you could not believe were true. I saw things that would make me take a break to go to the bathroom and…cry. A few things I will not go into but …. I understand now why they are careful about whom they allowed to work in those situations and why they were so diligent in making sure I was alright or not overwhelmed.

I loved to learn. I was learning a lot. When you stand beside a mother or father and hold their hand knowing that there is nothing more that can be done…you hold their hand and they are dieing… or visit after visit you grow to love a little girl like the one in the poem to stand silently by her bedside in the last days knowing that is ‘good bye’… or a boy who has lost his sight and face learning to face the world…

When you see abuse, violence, the darker side of human actions and the results in a city ER….

It was difficult as a child to relate to other children of my age. I would hear things like “I am just going to die. Did you see ‘Johnny or Steve or who ever’ talking to her. I want to die or kill them both” or “Oh, my God…I have a zit right on my nose. I can’t stand it. This is so unfair.” So many things that were such big issues to those around me seemed so sadly inconsequential. I said nothing. That is just it. I said nothing. I could not join in as I listened and felt so strongly that they did not understand what pain there really was by so many in life.

School Days……Our high school was so over crowed we had to attend in shifts. The school was filled with the first shift and then they went home and the next shift was sent in. So many in my class… I never got to know. I could blend in the background. I had enough credits I had wished that I would have gone to summer school and got one more. I would have graduated at 16. My senior year I was allowed to go to the local college and take classes to be certified as a Nursing Assistant. That is a nurse’s aide. I had to wait to go to work until I was 16 to have a driver’s license.

My senior year I had one class and the teacher was so sweet. She understood that I was tired. I got a job at the same hospital where I had done the ER work. The class was not even close to the level of study or training I had already completed at the college, so if I held an A/B average, did not snore or fall out of my seat she let me sleep when that occasionally happened. I was working the night shift in the hospital in the area where most of the terminal patients were and occasionally pulled to the comprehensive medical unit. (many called it the psych ward)

I was active in the church, working in the hospitals and missed the usual experiences that create so many memories we can look back on and fondly say…I remember back then, when I was young….. We did this and that……

In my own way I felt a desire to do more. I was never pushed into any of the things I was involved in. Many tried to discourage me and asked that I wait until I was older but I was never one to wait. When I had seen children die…we never know what tomorrow will bring. I had seen that first hand at a young age as a patient and seen it repeated in many ways in life. I wanted to live life and make a difference.

I could talk to doctors and nurses and even understand the things discussed with medical issues. I could talk to patients and their families or at church but did not feel close to very many of my peers. I often felt apart from others in school.

Take a step back….. When I worked every day with terminal patients I could not separate feelings from the services and care provided. There were so many that as they aged became so alone in life. Others were busy and might come as time permits, but their lives had demands and the patients often were so alone…they knew they would die and they lay in the bed feeling alone. I could not smile and forget the feeling from them. I often visited. I would even come in early and spend time with this one or that one that really needed just a moment with a friendly face that was not just there doing a job. They needed to know someone cared. I did care. Then when they died… I was low in seniority so I got the jobs others did not want. I got to bag and tag my friend. Too many times I did what I had to do with tears running down my face. I prepared them to go to what ever funeral home would arrive to get them, or for the family to come for their last visit.

There were other things too that broke my heart or deeply distressed me. It was too much. I gave notice and got a job at an insurance company. My knowledge of terms and procedures made it perfect for me to be able to screen claims and even teach others. I was finally 18 and thought I was so grown up.

Years pass by…..

I will skip ahead as I wander through memories. There came a time in life I had been married and divorced. I had two children and was trying to survive in life and find my way. I have always tried, but at times felt so lost. I had lived to do what was needed. I have tried to explain that in many ways but often felt as if there was no real me…only what was needed. Who and what was I?

I understand the definition of depression and am sure there are many times I qualify but that is not what I am or will allow my self to be. Depression is a dangerous thing to body, mind and soul. What I wanted was to live life.

By that time all I concentrated on was surviving. I wanted to provide, protect, and build a life for my children and myself. I had given up on finding that so called soul mate or someone special in life.

That is when I met Albert. He was and is so different from me. He would be more what I would call a free spirit. He can be one of the best hearted people you could ever meet. We all have more than one side to our true selves but this man made me feel special. The children loved him and….he made me smile. There are times he still makes me smile.

He had long hair, did construction and opened a new world for me. We laughed and smiled and I felt alive. I had never got to go dancing. I did not know how to dance. I did not know how to just go have fun.

We got tickets for a concert in Memphis, Tn. I had never been to a concert either. You would think someone in their 30’s would have done all of those things, especially in their youth but to me it was all new and…exciting. I loved the concert. When we went outside my back was bothering me. I have and did have trouble with that so we sat by the retaining wall next to the street. A horse drawn carriage stopped and Albert talked to the woman driving it. The next thing you know we were off on a carriage ride. You normally went a certain area around the Pyramid but she took us all the way through town and traffic to

Beal Street

. Part way through, she stopped allowing the horse to rest and turned asking to take our picture. She gave me a copy of it saying she thought we had magic. She told how she sees so many people and everyone is having a good time but there was just something special about and between the two of us…Magic.

It was magic. It was a time to remember. We danced, we smiled, we laughed and we made memories. We still have magic. His son, my son and daughter and the four grandchildren are magic. They warm your heart and make you spirit soar at the sight of them.

A New Day

Through the years I have collected many things that I have written. I hoped one day to see some of it published, but as I have shared in other blogs… time seemed to be of the essence to make that dream real.

Now as I grow older I do not feel that things are coming to an end in my life…I feel as if I am on an adventure of a journey. I have only just begun. I have so many things and ideas I want to bring to life. There are stories and more yet to become books. There are places to go and people to meet. There are adventures I never thought of that I am sure waiting for their day to come… and I will go and do and be there. My newest E-Book tells that and so much more. I Will Not Give Up… Not Today… Life Is A Journey and that it is. That is only the first book of it’s kind too. I would tell you what there is to come but who knows what all will be….it is an adventure.

My Books

This part is an invitation as well as a fact about me. I invite you all to share my journey. I have written not one type of book but each book a special creation.

‘Life Goes On’ Shares the drama of a family in crisis. They do not always make the right choices in life but life tends to be that way. Hopefully we learn as we live and….life does go on. It is not a how to live your life but sharing the story of a family with the tests and trials they endure. So many are suffering such hard times it helps to know we are not alone but we can survive. We can not only survive but find the strength to go on in life. I chose that to be the first novel published.

‘Journey Home’ is a novel that I hope keeps you guessing to the very end. I have heard from so many that they never saw it coming and loved it. This is a story I think will be hard to forget. When it gets dark outside….do you have your doors locked and curtains closed…if not….what might lurk outside looking in….and why? If she does not find answers will she even survive?

‘The Pumpkin Field’ is a children’s book that was and is one close to my heart. I have told about it too so many times that would not be new to share. What I will say is that this little tale has delighted so many children through so many years and still has it’s own magic. I say magic because it seems to stimulate conversations with young and old. I wanted to write a tale that lived in the heart of the reader. What can you see no matter your age in the words and dual meanings? It has helped some young to see that even in the dark of night there is beauty and light in the heavens above. Life can seem that way at times. No matter how dark it is we have to look and find the light and our own star to guide us.

My fourth book is ‘I Will Not Give Up…Not Today…Life Is A Journey’. I have written an autobiographical account sharing not only parts of my life but thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and more. In sharing things that I have written and an insight into my dreams and goals for the future, I offer a glimpse inside heart and soul. I hope to have been able to share many things including the feeling that we can not give up. That is exactly what I am doing…not giving up. I am reaching out beyond the pages and hope to make a difference.

The book has religious aspects because the beliefs I have and hold are dear to me and very much a part of who and what I am. There have been moments and events in my life that reinforce beliefs I have always had. I have tried to find words to convey so many things.

Some instances shared were very traumatic times. If I share the truth of the past, it might help others to see and feel that no matter how difficult things may be, we can go on in life and find hope for our future. I hope it touches the hearts of anyone who has or is having problems that feel insurmountable and offers them hope. I hope it reaches the heart of those who have no idea what such devastating illness or injury might be and feel like, allowing them a deeper compassion or understanding of others along the way in their lives.

I did not dwell on the negative attitudes in life, but just as I said in the book, we have to be wary of what we look for…they are there too… from the youngest children at play on the playground teasing a playmate to the workplace or everyday life and at times in our own relationships. It is easy to see prejudge by appearances or differences or other things. We are naturally attracted to beauty and the enthusiasm. Can we look past appearances to see what lies deeper in the heart of another?

I have been able to turn all but the children’s book into E-Books and will figure that out soon too. I am learning so many new things. I even did a youtube thing of me reading the story to children.

I do my own art work. I did paintings and wrote blogs and about it on the fan page as they progressed. I have shared many things. Even that I still play with playdoh. I make flowers. I love to make playdoh flowers even though I can do art in other mediums because it keeps the inner child alive and well and exercises my hands. I have even written about that too. I will try to add pictures here and links to many things.

I will continue to work with the writer’s group I started locally and on line for people to help each other. It is amazing to be able to share with one another and see each one as their own special projects come to life. I have learned so much and thank all who take the time helping me and we helping each other.

I will also add the thought and hope that you have bright days ahead and never give up. I wish you each happiness, hope and love in your lives. May your path in life lead you to a place a peace and joy.

For those I have nominated, the rules, as I understand them are:

1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.

2. Share 7 random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the Award on to some of your own deserving blog friends.

4. Contact those friends and let them know.

I thank Joan once again and am happy to pass this on to others who do so much with the things that they write each in their own way. Helping with words and sharing with others I invited you to stop and enjoy the different things they present.

Deb Hockenberry Deb’s Book Nook http://debsbookreviews.blogspot.com/2012/02/golden-pathway.html

http://thebumpyroadtopublishing.blogspot.com/2012/02/golden-pathway.html

Fran Lewis http://allgenrereviews.blogspot.com/

Dellani Oaks http://writersanctuary.blogspot.com/

DJ Weaver http://webbweaver-zelda555.blogspot.com/

Pat Bertram http://ptbertram.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/my-baby-bonsai-forest/

Kenneth Heard Love, Life, and APBA Baseball http://lovelifeapba.blogspot.com/

Glenda bixler http://gabixlerreviews-bookreadersheaven.blogspot.com/2012/02/take-drink-and-this-novel-to-your-man.html

Stacy Juba http://stacyjuba.com/blog/2012/02/05/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-amazon-kindle-fire/

Sarah Butland http://sarahbutland.blogspot.com/

Kelly Moran http://kellymoranauthor.blogspot.com/

Sandra Branum http://sandrabranum.wordpress.com/