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Friday, April 13, 2012

Confessions of an Author

This is the original photo I used to make the book cover.

More than just a story in a book?....   That is what I called this blog and that is what it is.  It is what I would like to make it.  I want to be able to have a voice and share many things….here it is.

I am not always right in the things I may think or believe, but I try my best in life.  When it comes to life it is not always easy.  We may find times we never dreamed we would see, let alone have to live through and survive.  There may be times that worry our minds and test our souls.  There may be times we might never forget even if we want to, or times we might never forget because we need to remember to never repeat that part again.

There came a time in my life when I viewed my survival as doubtful.  I was not sure that I would live.  I have written and spoke much about this, but that is because it is so intensely imbedded in my being.  I have always loved to write and hoped and dreamed to one day be published.  I even went to college and took an advanced fictional writing course to help me improve and make what I had written better.  I wrote.  I wrote a novel and it thrilled me beyond words.  It was watching part of a dream come true.  I had written short stories and poetry almost as one would write a journal.  This was different.  This was a full length novel that I felt was a story to be enjoyed and could take the reader there with them.  It was long enough to make two books. 

After I took the class I was able to view what I had written in a different way.  I could see things that did not need to be there…and others that needed to be rephrased.  I could see many more things and totally rewrote the book.  I started at the first word of the first sentence and did my best.  I would love to have things professionally done.  It is impossible for me to edit my own writing as professionally as another could do.

One thing is repetitive phrases or words.  If we have a certain speech pattern it will not be obvious to us if it is overused.  Details are difficult to critique since I wrote it to begin with.  It is hard for me to see and actually comprehend every word, phrase, comma, punctuation, sentence composition, flow and content for parts that may drag or be repetitive.  I know how the story ends.  I know what not only is written but what I thought as I wrote it for each and every character, scene and what they endure.  There are many things that I might miss, but I tried my best.  This was a book and a novel I was so proud of. 

The instructor of the class had only one criticism of my writing….he said he believe we should write for the art of writing…not fame…not fortune….or any other thing but to create.  His criticism was that the thought my writing style would make a great movie of the week.  He could visualize it as a movie.  I hate to admit I had an opinion that was different from his.  I thought it the greatest of compliments instead of a criticism that it would make a great movie.  If I could write a story that could be a novel and continue into another form of entertainment, and make a movie, what a thrill that would be to see.

I did all of my books from cover to cover.  This is one of my watercolor paintings and I can share the art and the story.

I became so passionate about this project.  I began to research how to start a process to become published.  I even sent out some query and synopsis of the book.  I got such positive and enthusiastic responses that ended with… they were not able to accept new clients or at this time………..

I did not stop writing.  When you think about times today there are so many hardships for so many people.  There are stories that tell a tale and some that share a message from the author…a moral to the story type thing.  I wanted to write something more.  I wanted to write a story that was fiction but so real they could know these people and feel for them in their trials.  They could know that there are others who suffered in life and living and trying to do their best. 

I turned on the television and there was one story after another about banks, retirements gone, jobs lost, and houses with families suffering foreclosures.  There were families out there having to endure all of that and more.  What about a chain reaction.  If the family suffers the loss of a job, they loose their home…have to move to …. where ever they can afford.  That may not be the best part of town.  It may not be as much a choice as the only option available other than being homeless or seeking shelter in one of the places for the homeless.   That may seem like a distant thing for other people, but how far are each of us if the right things went so wrong in our lives?  What would we do?  How would we survive?  What if we had children counting on us?  These are difficult things to answer and this is a fictional story, but it could be true.  What would you do?  Where would you go?

This family found an apartment in a bad part of town, but one they thought they could afford.  Who knows…. the father might get called back to work…. cut backs and all.  The mother found low wage work, but it was better than nothing…they had to survive.

What happens with the children?  Children are often very susceptible to pier pressure.  They adapt and survive.  They learn to fit in.  What were they learning and who were they fitting in with?  How is a parent supposed to find a way to control in an uncontrolled environment?  What do they do to hang on and not loose those they love the most?

This is a story that is more than just a story in a book.  This is a story of people, heart, feeling, survival and a time in history that made every struggle a story to tell of times, people, places, and life.  Life Goes On…..that is the story and that is the tale.  Life Goes On is also the thought that we need to carry us on, and know that we are strong and can survive.  We can…..

It really is more than just a story in a book.  It is more than just a story of a family.  It is a story of people and things of this times in this life.  They are fictional characters…but they could be real.  There are so many there suffering the same things.

I could have chosen Journey Home to be the first book that I published.  It will always have a special place in my heart and I believe one day it will be as a movie to thrill and entertain.  It is something that I believe is special……A story you will never forget with an ending you will not see coming.

I have wondered what I should write in this blog.  I am not sure what I am supposed to do, but what I have decided to do is continue…to share from the heart.  I know that it has not always been timely or consistent in content.  One time I may talk about something that makes me smile and another about writing.  The blog is called More Than Just A Story In A Book and this the truth.  When I write there is more than just the story in the book.  I try to make the story come to life and have meaning to those who read it as well as entertain.

The name of the blog is  More Than Just A Story In A Book….I am going to make a confession now… really is…..  The blog and the books are more than just a story.  I wanted to give heart and soul and something special in any and everything that I write.  I do not want to preach or enforce my own opinions in the stories, but let the stories speak, and be and touch each person who reads them in their own ways.  I want them to be alive in simple words on a page and to be able to reach out.

I chose Life Goes On as my last chance to reach out to others.  We did not know if I would live through the surgery and cancer.  I did not have long to wait and do Journey Home that I love so much.  Life Goes On might have special meaning when you think about it all ….. Each book I have written have features… not always obvious…. that might relate to others.  I want them to touch the reader.

What would you do if all of your life you had a dream?  It had to wait.   There were so many other things you needed to do with family, children, friends, life in general…..Wait ….but, someday you might…you dream…you hope….and then….

On more than one occasion they were so sure you would not survive, but you lived.  No matter what …you did not give up….now…then….you were not giving up, but there are times you have to be realistic.  Even anesthesia is a fearsome thing for me.  You remember when you woke up on life support and they were so sure there was no  hope….You remember other times you were so close to passing from this life to the next it was hard to tell…dead or alive….

They say take out the whole upper lobe and the other parts of the lungs are not functioning as they should….for awhile they can not even consider the surgery.  The surgeon said he will not be the one that kills me or leaves me on life support…. a vegetable?

This was a very stressful time and every day that passed that cancer was growing.  Am I just a memory to be forgotten or thought of now and then?  What can I do to reach out beyond the grave or beyond this life and touch or speak to others?  What if my little book is more than a story?  What if it is more than something others can relate to?  What if it is a symbol…to never give up?  What if it is proof that dreams really can come true?  I chose it to help others to remember tolerance and understanding….action, choices and consequences to not only our selves, but those who love us.  I chose it thinking it might be my last chance to make a real dream come true.  I held it in my hands before the surgery and it was a dream you could hold in your hands.  Now it is my gift to you.

I am going to write about what I write.  I am going to talk about more than just a story in a book.  I am going to talk about many things.  I hope you join me.  I hope you hear my words and share your thought too.  I am not going to give up…not today…life really is a journey.

Read my Children's Book to my grandson's class.  It was so wonderful.  Memories to cherish and remember

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